


Into the Sunset

by DarlingDoRight



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 11:30:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20795933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingDoRight/pseuds/DarlingDoRight
Summary: This is an AU set in the old West. Jane and Maura travel the California Trail in the wake of the Gold Rush as the states come unbound by the pressure of the impending Civil War. Friendship evolves into Romance on this great adventure.





	1. The American Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This work means a lot to me. Thanks for reading.

The birth of our nation, as every American school child knows, happened in Massachusetts. The Bostonians had thrown themselves a tea party, and Mother Britannia was not happy. The American Revolution, a mere fantasy, was pulled off by farmers and servants with nothing to lose but their shackles. Thus it has been proven, time and time again, that the strongest weapon always wins. The strongest weapon there has ever been is the human will, and its most ardent design is freedom.

The Revolution wasn't kind to Boston. By the end of the eighteenth century the city was sparsely populated. The party was over, and Boston was in shambles. Thus it was Boston's early nineteenth century immigrants who rebuilt the city's former glory. The Irish and Italians had come in great number and established themselves in legal and illegal enterprises. There were those who considered themselves Natives of America, whose family had clung to the hard land through the dismal centuries of colonization. There were the broken Native Tribes, shoved into the margins of society in a land universally acknowledged as their birthright. All were sloshing about in the great melting pot as it boiled them into one brew without their knowledge.

In 1848 an immigrant to California found a fortune in gold just laying around on the ground. Over the next decade, over 200,000 immigrants would join him in pursuit of the same fortune. They would face a three month overland journey through every possible terrain. It was a landscape of certain death if the slightest factor went askew. In 1846 the Donner-Reed Party were starved in the Sierra Nevadas and the tale of their nightmare had spread to every corner of the fledgling nation. But beyond the horrors still lay the American Dream: the chance to start a new life with the freedom to choose for oneself. So the strongest weapon barreled along across the perilous Western Trails until it had carved a path for all the dreamers and schemers alike.

Patrick Isles was an Irish born immigrant who had fled from his father's tyrannical criminal dynasty on Winter Hill. Hardened from a life of famine and violence, he nonetheless possessed a gripping love for his wife and child and a tenacious desire to see them prosper in the world. Patrick knew he must act fast to secure an independent future for his family, so he set out for California in the Fall of 1848. Through tremendous hard work in the foothills of Mount Shasta, he amassed an impressive cache of gold which he eventually parlayed into a Mining business.

Back in Boston, Patrick's wife Hope had given their child an immaculate education with the money he sent them. Hope was a Suffragist before the term existed, and she instilled her beautiful young daughter with the grace of a lady and the determination of a charging bull. Hope had helped to found a Ladies Physiological Institute in Boston and through intense personal study became a keenly skilled medical professional there.

For the next decade Patrick managed his business with arduous trips back and forth across the budding nation. But in the Fall of 1859 he became permanently embroiled in Boston politics, which were rapidly heating up due to the growing divide between Northern and Southern Ethics. Patrick sensed that a war between the States was coming and he tried to convince his wife to take Maura to California where they would be safer. Hope refused to leave the Institute, but she agreed to send Maura to their estate in Mount Shasta.

Although Maura had been educated in almost every concentration, she had also been kept more or less inside buildings. She had read how to camp and shoot, and about Natives and their cultures, but her only time spent outside Boston was to attend an elite girls school in Paris for three years. She had returned feeling mature beyond her years and at least a few sizes too big for her britches. She was itching to get into the social life of Boston and to begin a career, but no sooner did she settle back at home from Paris did her parents inform her she was going to California for a few years to wait out the impending war.

At first she was devastated by the news but she gradually began to see it as an adventure. Patrick promised she could help to manage their business in Mount Shasta, and she knew there would be cultured young people with whom to socialize in California. Over the next few months, as Patrick made the many tedious preparations for her trip, Maura warmed up more and more to the idea until she had turned it into a fantasy of rip-roaring adventure in her mind.

Patrick had said she would travel along the California Trail in a wagon train with a personal armed escort. Maura imagined herself fishing in great rivers, swimming in crystalline lakes, and riding on horseback along the ridges of the tallest mountains. She knew she was Romanticizing the idea, but she really had no choice. It would be three miserable months of difficult travel with an armed stranger toward a place she had no desire to go. Maura hoped her stranger at least turned out to be the sexiest young sheriff's deputy in Boston.

The many routes to California had been updated heavily since Patrick nearly perished on them in 1848. Although it was not a safe trip, by any stretch, it was getting safer. Pony Express stations had begin to pop up along the trail, which were accompanied by armed guards. Most towns which had sprung up around the trail now had sheriffs keeping an eye out for bandits and hostile Natives. Yet the trails were still incredibly dangerous for women, the young and the wealthy. Thus he knew Maura would be a primary target.

Patrick spent months interviewing possible experienced escorts. He hired a detective to check into their backgrounds. He went shooting and trapping almost daily with one hopeful fellow or another. But having become quite an adept outdoorsman himself on his sojourns, Patrick's standards were high and he eventually rejected all his candidates. As the time for Maura's trip drew near, he was still struggling to find someone he felt sure he could trust to protect his daughter.

One day as Patrick sat in his office, a young woman walked in and politely announced she was replying to his advertisement in the Boston newspaper for an experienced escort to California. Patrick could immediately tell the woman was part Native, her long dark hair and penetrating black eyes gave her a halting feminine beauty although she was dressed in the clothes of a Californian man. She wore deerskin pants beneath a long men's collared shirt. Her unkempt dark hair hung defiantly down her back. But he noticed the polite way she wiped her boots before entering his office. Her manner was guarded but sincere.

Over the next few weeks he came to know the story of Jane's life. Although it sounded more fiction than fact, Patrick knew a straight shooter when he saw one. Her name was Jane Rizzoli, she had been born in Mount Shasta, California in 1837 to a rich Italian immigrant and his gorgeous Okwanuchu wife. Their marriage was entirely tolerated and even admired in California, but the wealthy young Rizzoli eventually lost his money in the partially formed economy. He had no remaining option but to move his wife and twelve year old daughter to his extended family's estate in Boston.

Although the Rizzoli family enjoyed rare wealth and status for Italians at the time, they loathed and looked down on Jane and her mother for their strange race and simple manners. Her father engrossed himself in his family's business, attempting to right the debt he had gotten his wife and daughter into. But he died before his endeavor was complete, and his wife was not surprised that his family had nullified his will and effectively cast she and Jane from their household. Jane and her mother were made destitute in Boston in the year 1853.

Without the money to return to her native land, Jane's mother fell into depression and became increasingly ill. Sixteen year old Jane began to work any place that would have her, realizing she had few skills but those acquired during her childhood in the wooded expanse of Mount Shasta. She started fishing, trapping, and trading but soon found that her pretty young face left her frequently at the wrong end of a pistol, being robbed for her goods or services.

Soon she decided the way to best use her gender and looks to her advantage was in the seedy betting parlors that proliferated the Boston slums. It turned out she had an excellent poker face. She made much more money betting, playing cards, competing in shooting contests and other assorted criminal ventures than she ever had at an "honest" living. By the time she saved enough money to make the trip back home, her mother had caught pneumonia and passed away. Jane was devastated. She spent the next three years gaining and losing her shirt at the poker tables in her favorite brothels.

Since taking to her life of petty crime and waywardness, she had developed a serious longing for prostitutes and liquor. It was the combination of these that eventually convinced her that she would ruin herself if she stayed any longer in Boston. She had just put the remainder of her resources together in a last ditch effort to leave the city, certain she didn't have enough money or supplies to reach the her homeland, when she happened to see Patrick's advertisement in the newspaper. Evidently Patrick was willing to pay an impressive sum for the job, in addition to funding the trip itself, and Jane was certainly qualified considering her now vast array of skills.

Jane was forthright with Patrick during his many inquiries into her past. She told him the entire truth about her life. She described her upbringing in the extremely rural towns and dwindling Native villages of Mount Shasta, her harrowing journey across the nation as a child, her desperate situation in Boston, the death of both her parents, her life of petty crime, her many skills and shocking talents, and even her taste for whiskey and women. He had taken it all in with a carefully suppressed smile. After all, Patrick had pulled himself and his little immigrant family up from his bootstraps as well. He wasn't without misgivings, but he secretly admired the girl.

After an exhaustingly thorough search through her past, weeks of camping and shooting with Patrick on his land, and an intimidating stack of legal contracts she was obliged to sign, Patrick slapped her on the back and congratulated her. Then he told her if anything happened to his daughter, including Maura's sinful seduction by any hand, he would execute her himself. Having stared into the eyes of every variety of murdering psychopath, she knew he was serious. But she also knew it was her only hope of ever getting back to her homeland in California. So with both reluctance and elation, she accepted the job without having met this enigmatic young woman she was slated to protect.

Finally the weeks before their departure arrived, and Patrick began to discuss the details with Maura. He spent many days teaching her about Natives, the trails, about plants and animals, about what to do in case of emergencies, and other things he felt she must know if the worst were to happen. Although he had balked at Jane's application in the beginning, Patrick had quickly become convinced she was a highly capable marksman, trapper, hunter and an otherwise impressively talented person who was unlikely, due to her need and desire to make it to Mount Shasta, to abandon his daughter or the money she was to receive upon her safe arrival. He had decided that he had found the safest and most capable escort possible. But he forgot to mention Jane to Maura, and she forgot to ask. Her mind was occupied with designer hat boxes, which books she wanted to read on the way, how to mend her lace sleeves should they be snagged on a bush. If she could have only known all these possessions would soon be swept down the Missouri River she would have focused on more essential details.

Jane was waiting on the train platform smoking a cigarette. All her belongings fit into one ragged suitcase, which she had already given to an attendant to take to their suite. She had never ridden a train in the proper way, with a ticket. All her train riding had been done as a stowaway. Soon they would take the newly built railroads with their luxury train cars to St. Joseph as the first part of the trip.

Her ticket informed her the ride would take two weeks. Jane never felt as Native as she looked, but certain Native stereotypes applied to her. Mainly, she preferred the outdoors and rural towns to crowds and big cities. She preferred the gentle sway of a horse than the rickety squeal of a train. But she certainly wasn't complaining about a luxury train ride to Kansas. There were sure to be Spirits and women aboard somewhere, so she wouldn't be short of things to drink or eat.

As she waited she found that she was increasingly nervous, and she realized with a pang of embarrassment that it was the girl she was worried of. She had imagined Maura Isles as the typical rich Bostonian, the type who had cruelly outcast she and her mother. She pictured Maura cloaked in enormous gaudy dresses, armed with a haughty accent and demeanor, and possessing a long nose to look down on the unworthy world beneath. When she accepted the job, she had pushed the idea away that Maura would be a petulant brat. Jane barely believed in her ability to shoot a bear while dodging Native arrows and clasping a small porcelain hand, she knew it would be plainly impossible if the girl were a pest.

Patrick hadn't really described Maura to Jane more than to say she was as unbelievably intelligent as Jane was as unbelievably talented. His sole comment about them getting along was that if their minds were put together correctly they would form an undefeatable partnership. But Jane doubted she would have a single common interest with an elite Bostonian socialite who had recently come home from three years abroad at a private girls' school in Europe. She just hoped the girl would keep quiet and obey her commands until she could deposit her at their family home in the foothills of Mount Shasta and collect her fee.

With the money Patrick had promised her, Jane knew she could afford a small farm with enough left over to get a household going for herself. She just hoped there would be a brothel nearby, otherwise she feared her little cabin might get lonely. And yet she craved the loneliness of Mount Shasta after having felt trapped in the swarms of impoverished masses in Boston. Whatever the journey may bring, Jane knew to complete it was her only chance at making a better life for herself.

Jane had used the money Patrick had given her to prepare for the trip to buy herself some clothes, as she only owned a few pairs of pants and ragged shirts. She chose her best new outfit to wear for their departure, and as she stood on the platform waiting for Patrick to deliver Maura, she felt more eyes staring at her than she ever had.

It was one thing to dress as a man in the slums of Boston, and an entirely different thing to stand at Boston's bustling train platform in a dashing pair of trousers, a beautifully fitting vest, her new jacket pushed back over her hips and her hand tucked elegantly in her vest pocket. Her wild mane of dark hair had been trimmed and carefully pulled into a ponytail, upon which she balanced a short black top hat. She felt while dressing herself that she had never looked so sexy and refined. But out on the platform with so many bulging eyes appraising her apparel, she realized how sorely she stood out from the crowd. She was anxiously straightening her vest and jacket when she felt Patrick's friendly hand embrace her shoulder.

Jane turned to see the most delicate looking woman she had ever seen poised before her in a dress clearly tailored individually for her impressive shape. She had enormous emerald eyes which thoughtfully penetrated all they fell upon. Her hair was the color of the warm evening sun and fell angelically around her perfect face as light falls through parlor windows.

Jane nearly grimaced at the extravagance of the enormous dress she was wearing until her eyes crossed Maura's exposed cleavage where they heavily lagged despite Jane's effort. Finally she dragged her gaze to the woman's face where it lingered briefly on her unhappily pursed lips before meeting the severely critical expression in her eyes.

"Who is this?" Maura asked in a patently annoyed tone.

Patrick grinned. Apparently he either forgot to mention that Jane was an unorthodox Native woman or he thought it better to let the two meet without preamble.

"This is Jane Rizzoli, Maura. She's going to escort you safely to California. She will protect you from every possible threat, including drowning, mountain lions, scalpings, getting fleeced at market and especially from young presumptuous men with bedroom eyes."

He looked at Jane very pointedly. "You will deliver my daughter with all her innocence and integrity intact," he warned her.

Maura rolled her eyes over her slight blush at his meaning.

"I'm sure I'll have the offender shot long before he makes it through that fortress of a dress," Jane replied in an affirmative tone carefully laced with sarcasm.

Maura glanced down self consciously at her gown. It was her best and she took offense to Jane deriding it.

Maura clasped the arm of her father's jacket with one delicate hand and pulled him down to talk into his ear, "Father, this … woman … is obviously not fit to accompany me. What credentials can she possibly possess?"

"Maura Evangeline Isles, I have seldom thought it my job to make up your mind for you, but on this matter I must inform you that my experience is far superior to yours. I exhausted every outdoorsman in Boston and didn't find one as capable with a gun, trap and horse as this woman, who is not much older than yourself. I know she isn't very convincing to the eyes, but I promise that you will be safer with Miss Rizzoli than with any man in Boston."

Jane had heard their conversation, Maura didn't exactly hide her disapproval. She listened amused, half expecting the girl to throw a tantrum and refuse to be accompanied by her. But Maura only sighed and set her jaw.

"Yes, Father," she finally replied.

The train's attendants had already packed Maura's many suitcases and crates onto the train. Jane stood stoically finishing her cigarette while Maura reluctantly told her father goodbye. Jane expected a teary, pathetic goodbye to flow from the girl but she only clasped her father briefly and told him not to worry about her. He kissed her head and held her hand in his as he extended it for Jane to accept.

Jane felt stuffy when expected to display proper manners, but she took Maura's hand ceremoniously, laid it atop her bent arm, nodded goodbye to Patrick and guided the girl to the train. Maura looked over her shoulder grimly but Patrick was grinning back at her assuredly. She glanced up at Jane who appeared from her expression to be marching them to their death.

Once they boarded, they were led to their suite which turned out to be half a train car beautifully carved into a living niche. There were two separate twin beds across a room for sleeping and dressing that connected to a room lined with windows in which to eat and sit, and a little washroom. Maura immediately started nervously fussing with her luggage, dragging its varied contents to every corner of the train car. Jane tossed her bag on the bed not yet covered with bloomers, and went to the window to light another cigarette.

"Must you smoke where my things will pick up the smell?" Maura asked her indignantly.

Jane frowned, closed her lighter and put it and her tobacco back in her jacket pocket. She stared at Maura for a moment, but became overwhelmed by her rapid, erratic movements. Jane suddenly felt very caged by Maura moving around so quickly in the relatively small space they were to share. The train began to move, and it dawned on her that she had actually agreed to do this. She had agreed to drag this awful little brat all the way to California. What was she thinking?

"I'm going to … watch the … and get some …" Jane stammered quickly before jetting through the door of their suite and down the hall. She found an open place between cars and took a few deep breaths before resuming her cigarette. Just as she was flicking the remainder away, she felt a gentle hand run across her back and she turned to see a very sexy and slightly older woman with dark red hair smiling at her.

"I like this vest. You are by far the sexiest woman on this train," her tone was slow and seductive, her words carefully pronounced.

Jane stared back at her with careful consideration.

"I'm in cabin C4. You should join me for a cocktail one evening. Are you taking the train all the way to St. Joseph?"

Jane nodded.

The woman smiled like a cat who had successfully pounced on her canary, "So am I. What a coincidence." She extended her hand and ran her fingertips up and down Jane's vest. "I hope I see you soon," she concluded seductively before removing her hand and walking away. Jane looked after her with a sly grin. Maybe it wouldn't be such a nightmare after all.


	2. Bleeding Kansas

For their entire first week aboard the train, Maura had silently read her books and stared out the windows of their cabin over the meandering prairie landscape. Jane had silently accompanied her to and from the dining car and wherever else she requested to be escorted. At first each felt that they were purposefully ignoring one another, but soon they both acknowledged a strange fear of the other.

Jane often tried to think of civilized, intelligent things to say to Maura but she always choked when confronted with the idea Maura might mock or criticize her. Maura spent more time pondering how to relate to Jane than actually reading, but each time she thought of something worldly to say, she cowered before the notion Jane might rebuff her childish need for Jane's favor.

The day before they arrived on the Missouri/Kansas border, the train made an abrupt stop. Jane told Maura to wait, and she exited her suite to find that an angry mob had gathered on the train tracks. They were brandishing rifles and loudly chanting, "Owners Rights!"

Jane looked on with the other train passengers as the engineers shouted at the belligerent protesters. Finally the engineers issued a threat, and when it wasn't responded to they ordered the train engines stoked. The train slowly began to spasm forward, and the frightened mobsters stepped back, shocked and enraged.

The train slowly returned to its progress and the angry shouts faded behind the hiss and hum as it glided away on its tracks. The passengers returned to their activities without much conversation about the incident. Every man aboard was aware of the bloody quarrels over Slavery that had come to a head along the Missouri and Kansas state line.

When Jane returned to their cabin, Maura was standing with her hands together waiting for an explanation.

Jane glanced at her uneasily, "There was a disturbance on the tracks, some protesters, and the train stopped to clear them. Anyway, we will arrive at St. Joseph at noon tomorrow, and we need to leave immediately. We have a six hour wagon ride south to Independence before we can join the wagon train. If we dawdle, we may lose the sunlight and I don't want to be out after dark in a loaded wagon. We need to be packed and ready to go tomorrow when the train arrives."

Maura was looking at her quizzically and still wringing her hands.

"Do you understand?" Jane finally asked after a pause.

Maura's brows furrowed and she asked intently, "What were they protesting?"

Jane didn't understand her question.

"The people who blocked the train," Maura clarified.

"Oh," Jane didn't realize she was being sexist in assuming Maura wouldn't understand the current political issues troubling their young nation. "They were protesting about politics."

"What about?" Maura implored.

Jane huffed, "About Slavery."

"Oh," Maura reacted sadly. "Because Missouri is a Slave State and Kansas is undecided?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "I would assume yes. So, make sure you're packed for tomorrow, okay?"

"What?" Maura implored, as if she hadn't heard Jane's question.

Jane huffed impatiently. "Tomorrow we arrive in St. Joseph and we have to leave right away. Please have your little trove of gowns and tiaras ready to board our wagon so we don't get left out after dark."

"Why do they want to have slaves in Kansas?" Maura asked her earnestly.

Jane didn't know if the girl was trying to frustrate her to death or not. She decided it was a ploy to make her lose her patience, so she withdrew from the conversation. "I don't know, Miss Isles," she replied dismissively.

Maura pursed her lips unhappily. "Father says owning slaves is an inherent contradiction of the Constitution of the United States."

Jane glanced up at her with mild surprise.

"What do you think?" She asked Jane openly.

"I think bandits will loot any wagon on the trail after dark. And I don't want to shoot bandits, it's bad enough shooting Natives."

Maura gasped. "You've shot a Native?"

Jane's opinion of her softened again. She would have guessed the petulant young Miss Isles would be pro-slavery and pro-shooting Natives.

"No, but I hear the Cheyenne have had a violent reaction to the ritual murder of their people. If we weren't going in the wagon train, it would be a big risk crossing Nebraska."

Maura seemed to take in all this information with careful consideration. Jane only looked at her curiously, still waiting for an answer to her question.

Finally Maura said, "Please don't shoot anyone unless you have to."

Jane huffed and went to her bed. She sat and began to tug at her boots.

"Miss Rizzoli, did you hear me? Answer me," she demanded softly.

Jane replied without looking up or ceasing with her boots, "Why? You didn't answer me."

Maura found herself noticing the way the muscles stood out on Jane's arms as she bent and yanked at her boots. She was annoyed by her own curiosity of Jane. She pulled her attention from Jane's muscular arms and began to casually pack her luggage.

It was nearly half an hour later when Maura finally replied, "I will be ready when we arrive."

Jane was laying on her back in bed with her eyes closed but Maura could tell she wasn't sleeping.

"Then I won't shoot anyone I don't have to," she returned.

* * *

When Jane awoke, slightly more hungover than she expected, the train was parked in Independence Station and Maura and her things were gone from the cabin. She smiled to herself as she disembarked that Maura had did as she asked. The station was buzzing with people, and beyond the crowd she could see horses and beyond the horses were loaded wagons. It took Jane nearly ten minutes to locate their wagon, but she was pleased to find all of hers and Maura's things already packed. She looked around for Maura but didn't see her. She climbed into the driver's seat to wait.

Twenty minutes passed before Jane got worried. She stood on the wagon and looked over the crowd, but didn't see the blonde head she sought. She climbed down and darted back to their suite, hoping to find Maura had gone to look for her. The cabin was empty and Jane had become anxious as she paced through the train station. Just when she had begun to actually panic, she saw a row of vendor booths and raced over to them.

Maura was in the middle booth looking over some handmade jewelry. She was chatting pleasantly with the vendor when Jane grasped her shoulder. Maura looked down at Jane's hand with confusion and consternation, but Jane didn't release her.

"What do you think you are doing?" Jane asked with wide eyes.

"Shopping," Maura replied curtly, as if it were obvious.

"Shop–" Jane started and stopped. "What if-?!" She released Maura's shoulder roughly and took some bills from her coat pocket and tossed them to the vendor. "Get what you want, Miss Isles, I hope you look stunning when we're attacked by bandits this evening because you wasted sunlight toying with trinkets."

Maura's emerald eyes narrowed to intent little slits in her face. "I always look stunning," she replied defiantly.

Jane's eyes widened and she snapped, "Now!" at Maura, who jumped but selected her jewelry and let herself be nearly dragged to their wagon. It was after two hours past noon when they finally rolled away from St. Joseph.

* * *

About four hours into their trip Maura was starting to loudly sigh every few minutes. She had read her book haughtily for hours, but the continual bouncing and rocking made it frustrating and finally she gave up. Jane had ignored her since they left the train station and she intended to ignore her all the way to California.

Maura sighed again, dramatically.

Jane ignored her again, dramatically.

Maura contemplated Jane with her forest green eyes. Eventually she asked, "Why do you dress like a man, Miss Rizzoli?"

Jane's face hardened. She didn't reply.

Maura eyed Jane's outfit openly. Truthfully Maura found her very intriguing. She would have never believed a woman could look so dashing in men's clothes. If Jane were wearing a dress she would be a lovely sight, but in her light wool jacket and rancher hat she looked as formidable as any ruffian. It was almost attractive to her that Jane possessed such a complex duality.

Maura asked, "Does it embarrass you to discuss it?"

Jane replied tersely, "It's none of your business."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," Maura lightly taunted.

Jane shook her head subconsciously with annoyance but ignored Maura's juvenile behavior. She needed to keep her senses sharp, not jabber on like two girls at a square dance.

After another twenty minutes Maura addressed her again curiously, "Why do you lay with women?"

This time she succeeded in getting a response. Jane barked at her, "Miss Isles, who taught you to talk like this?"

Maura replied honestly, "My father."

Jane nearly smiled at Maura's playfulness, "Well, it's unladylike. Women are supposed to be seen and not heard. And you shouldn't ask so many questions, your little mind will get confused."

Maura's eyes grew wide with indignity. "What did you say?"

Jane knew she hit the soft spot. "Nothing, I just don't want you to unsettle your fragile nerves, Miss."

Maura guffawed and crossed her arms. "Jane Rizzoli, I have read more books than you have bedded jezebels, and attended more political debates than you have guzzled liquor. Do not condescend to me and do not underestimate me." She set her jaw.

Jane was surprised by her announcement and asked after a beat, "What makes you think I bed jezebels and guzzle liquor, Miss Isles?"

"Do you really believe I didn't notice all the woman on the train swooning and giving you forlorn embraces? Please. And your breath smells like kerosene past noon every day."

Jane swallowed a laugh. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Maura opened her mouth to scoff but was stopped by the sound of gunfire.

Jane drew her pistol and wrapped an arm around Maura. She looked around on the wooded trail but saw no one.

"Maura, it's time for you to get in the wagon. We're almost there, we'll arrive in Independence just after the sun sets."

Maura's hand closed on Jane's shirt, "No."

Jane rolled her eyes. "You have to stop arguing with me."

Maura glanced up at her, "Let's keep going. I want to stay up here."

"If we get shot at, you're a lot less likely to be wounded in the wagon."

"You just want to put me back there so I'll stop talking."

"That has nothing to do with it," she replied sarcastically.

They heard more gunfire, and Maura clung to Jane's waist. Jane drew her pistol and pointed it at the treeline. They heard rustling, Jane steadied her arm.

Suddenly a child burst from the woods, filthy and wearing only scraps for clothes. He looked perhaps eight or nine years old. He regarded them with frightened confusion but seemed to change his expression after considering their expensive outfits and loaded wagon.

He opened his mouth and a dark little voice drawled, almost incoherently, "Ya'll ain't Slave Lovers are ya'll?"

The gunfire in the woods continued sporadically behind him. It was clear to Jane that two small groups were firing on each other, and the fight was coming nearer to their wagon.

Maura could only sympathetically frown at the pitiful child. He was clearly starved, his bones jutted uncomfortably through his pale skin. Bruises and welts showed on his legs. He stood barefoot on the cool evening ground.

Jane lowered her weapon and replied carefully. "We don't have any slaves. We're just passing through, son."

The boy's face contorted into a snarl at the kindness in her tone. "We need ourn slaves in these parts! Get outta Missoura if you cain't help the fight!"

Jane pulled Maura against her shoulder and flicked the wagon's reigns. "We're leaving, buddy. We're leaving right now," she addressed him with accentuated respect, and he clearly resented it.

"Pa, hurry! We got more of them Slave Lovers over here!"

Maura gasped. The gunfire erupted in the forest again, coming ever closer.

"Pa, Pa, come quick!" the boy shouted angrily, "These women-folk are Slave Lovers!"

Jane slapped the reigns recklessly and the wagon raced away at its highest speed.

* * *

They were within sight of Independence when the sun started to set. All they had left was to cross the Missouri River. Jane had found a beautiful little covered bridge to cross, and she pulled the wagon to a stop before entering. Maura scrambled down behind her.

"What are you doing?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Jane shot back.

Maura was exhausted from the long ride and let the question drop.

Jane was tightening the straps of their load. Finally she said, "The bridge will be bumpy for the wagon wheels, and our load has been jostled around since we left St. Joseph. I'm just tightening it so it doesn't come unpacked. Are you sure you don't want to ride in the wagon?"

Maura did want to rest in the wagon, but she felt she had something to prove by riding up front.

"We can't be more than an hour away."

"We're not," Jane replied, "We're going to cross the bridge and then a little glen and be in Independence. Less than an hour, really."

"I like riding up front," Maura announced assuredly, and Jane was about to reply sarcastically when she heard a noise in the bushes.

She drew her pistol. "Get in the wagon," she spoke sternly to Maura.

Maura had heard the sound and was aware how near it was. She took Jane's extended hand and used it to climb into the wagon.

When she was inside Jane told her, "Lay down."

Jane glanced around carefully but saw no sight of anyone. She tied the wagon flaps closed from the outside, climbed on the wagon and started across the bridge slowly.

The sun had set and it was completely dark in the bridge. The lumber of the bridge was old and the wagon wheels made loud thumping and creaking sounds which echoed thunderously in the covered area. Jane was looking ahead when more mobsters appeared at the opening of the bridge and blocked her path.

"Slave's Rights! Free Kansas!" The Kansas mobsters shouted angrily in tandem.

Jane felt her heart seize in her chest.

One of the men pulled a rifle and pointed it down the bridge towards Jane.

She immediately drew her revolver on him and stood on the wagon seat.

"We're not Slavers! We have no part of this conflict! Let us pass! We mean no harm!"

Suddenly she heard shouts directly behind her on the bridge, and she turned with horror to find the misguided boy leading the Missouri mob up behind the bridge.

He shouted, "There're them Slave Lovers!" and pointed at Jane's wagon.

She looked back at the Kansas man with the rifle, and watched with horror as he shot the boy in his chest. He fell like a hatching from the nest and the mobsters advanced over his lifeless little body.

Jane grabbed the reins of the wagon, but the man with the rifle shot again. She was first relieved he had missed her, then horrified to see he had his intended target, which was the pool of oil her wagon was stopped in. They had doused the bridge with oil and sabotaged its structure.

Before Jane could do more than panic, the entire structure was engulfed in flames around her. All she could hear was gunfire and the shouting of the dueling mobs as they fired on each other from the banks of the Missouri. She clamored to the back of the wagon and hastily untied the straps. Black smoke had completely clouded her sight as she shouted, "Maura?"

She didn't hear anything.

She ripped the flaps open, able to see and breathe within the tent for a moment. Maura was laying on the floor crying.

Jane extended a hand to her. "We've got to leave the wagon, now!"

Maura shook her head vehemently but Jane snatched her ankle and yanked her body. Finally Maura climbed into Jane's arms and Jane lifted her against her chest.

Jane's vision was completely obscured and she struggled to carry Maura down the burning bridge with her revolver still clasped in her hand. She barely made it out of the bridge and laid Maura on the ground when they heard a tremendous crash.

The bridge made a self righteous sound, as if it were condemning its saboteurs with a thunderous accusation, and a second, sadder sound, which seemed to say, "Tell Dixie I love her." The wreckage busted and hissed when it landed in the great rushing waters of the Missouri River.

Jane wheeled around with her revolver, expecting to find herself cornered. But when the smoke cleared she and Maura realized they were the only survivors. Scattered around them were the lifeless bodies of the protesters from both States.

Maura deliriously asked, "Where is our wagon?" when Jane lifted her into her arms. Jane was aware Maura had gone into shock.

Jane sighed and began to carry Maura along the dark path.

* * *

The walk into Independence only took an hour, but it felt like much longer to the exhausted women. Maura had fallen asleep on Jane's shoulder, and she awoke on a couch in a hotel lobby to Jane saying, "Thankfully my wallet was in my pocket," to the empathetic clerk.

Jane led Maura to a hotel room and sat her on a double bed.

Maura watched Jane removing her jacket and boots and starting to wash at the basin.

Eventually Jane asked, "Are you okay? Are you starting to come back?"

Maura shook her head, as if waking from a dream, "What happened?"

"The protesters burned the bridge. And our wagon fell into the river. But we're okay. We made it to Independence. Tomorrow we'll buy another wagon and join the wagon train. That was a close call."

Maura looked at her with confusion. "Where are my things?"

Jane eyed her carefully. "I'm sorry. Your things are all gone."

Maura asked her, "Gone where?"

Jane stood and walked to her. "Down the river. But don't worry, we'll replace it all tomorrow. There are fine dress shops here in Independence. Think of it this way: We're going shopping in the morning." It was a genuine effort to make Maura happy.

Maura's mouth fell open. "You let my possessions be destroyed?"

"Maura, there was nothing I could do." Jane's tone carried so much sincerity that Maura sniffled back her anger momentarily.

Jane started undressing and folding down the bed. Maura noticed it was the sole bed in the room.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Maura asked her pointedly.

"Oh," Jane replied, "This was the only room. I guess we'll have to share this double bed. I know you've had a long day, but it will be over as soon as you close your eyes."

Maura stared at her with a bilious gaze. She finally erupted into an angry rant. "You grabbed me,you yelled at me, you mocked me, you let all my things be burned up and swept down the river and now you want me to share a bed with you? My father would be furious!"

Jane frowned and got into the bed. She laid on her back and waited out Maura's tirade. Maura went on insulting Jane for a few more moments until she was out of breath. Then she stared at Jane blankly. She wasn't waiting for a response, she was just venting her overwhelming emotions. Then her chest started to rise sharply and quickly.

Jane watched her curiously from beneath the covers.

Suddenly her eyes lined with tears and she asked meekly, "I heard that sad little boy's voice. What happened to him?"

Jane averted her eyes sadly.

Maura started to cry softly and covered her face with her hands.

"You'll feel better tomorrow. It won't be this hard once we get on the wagon train. You'll see. Get in the bed, okay?"

Jane addressed her so gently that she sat on the bed and unlaced her clothes quickly and shimmied from the many layers. She didn't bother washing her face, she just climbed beneath the blankets and rolled away from Jane. She was still crying softly to herself when Jane finally said,

"He's in a better place, Maura. He doesn't have to worry about anything anymore."

Maura sobbed for a moment and then collected herself before asking, "These farmers out here need help, huh?"

Jane smiled sadly at Maura's intuitive understanding of a highly complicated issue. "Yeah. This is hard land. These farmers think they can't feed their families without slave labor. But it's the Politicians who fill their heads with lies. If the farmers can't eat, what will they feed the slaves? The fellas with money to lose antagonize these starving folks to fight their battles for them. I heard the senators are fist-fighting on the Senate Floor about it. I don't think the states can stay together much longer."

Maura sighed and was silent. Jane was almost asleep when she heard Maura ask her quietly, "Did you shoot anyone, Jane?"

Jane yawned. "No, Maura, I didn't shoot anyone. I wish I had. If I had shot that man when he raised his rifle, maybe the boy … No, I don't know what would have happened. Those people were intent on killing each other. There was nothing I could have done. But I wish the boy hadn't got hurt."

Maura reached across the bed and rubbed Jane's arm lightly. "Me too," she said quietly before they both fell asleep.

* * *

Maura awoke alone in their hotel room in Independence. She could tell from the sunlight's position through the windows it was past noon. She remembered waking from nightmares and feeling Jane pet her back. She blushed at the thought and crept from the blankets.

Upon looking in the mirror, Maura realized she was still covered in black smoke from the fire. She was happy to find running water in their hotel room, a luxury she knew she would be enjoying for the last time in a long while. The bathtub was in the corner of the room, blocked by a privacy screen. She slipped from her dress with a pang of anxiety because she knew she possessed no clean outfit to wear after her bath. She grieved the loss of her beloved gowns.

"You can't drag that through here!" the clerk yelled at Jane as she passed. She was dragging Maura's enormous chest, which was still trickling water from its corners. The rest of their soaked possessions waited on the new covered wagon she had purchased at sunrise.

"What choice do I have, buddy? I clearly can't carry it."

"You're making a mess!" He shouted sassily at her retreating back.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "It'll dry."

Jane burst through the hotel room door asking, "Maura?"

Although Maura was bathing behind a screen, she covered her breasts with her arms nervously. She internally wondered why she reacted as if Jane were a man she didn't want to see her nude. She had bathed around and with numerous girls in Paris. Yet the thought of Jane looking at her naked made her squirm.

Jane glanced at the empty bed and around the room. When she didn't see Maura, she cursed,

"Where has that indolent child wandered off to now?"

Maura cleared her throat.

Jane cringed to herself before changing to a pleasant tone. "Good morning, Maura. How's the bath?"

"Incredible considering it's probably the last I'll have in weeks."

"Maybe months," Jane corrected quietly.

"I just wish I had something to wear," Maura began to whine but suddenly changed her tone.

"Jane, I'm … I'm sorry I cursed at you last evening. I wasn't myself."

She couldn't see Jane's face to know how she had reacted to her apology. She could only hear a strange sound, like Jane was mopping or slopping wet fabric around.

"Jane? What are you doing?"

"I'm hanging a dress up to dry for you. Do you want to wear the Seasick Green or the Infection Yellow?" She used a carefully sarcastic tone. "I'm kidding," she quickly amended. "There's clearly no contest for the Smallpox Red."

"What?" Maura asked her, rising from the tub.

"Oh, I went for a little swim this morning. You won't believe what I found in the river." She was glad Maura couldn't see the enormous grin on her face. She had kept her tone as casual as possible.

Maura stood up in the bathtub. She wrapped a towel around her small frame and for a moment forgot about her prudish attitude. She popped her head around the screen with wide eyes to see her chest of clothes sitting, soaked, on the floor and Jane pulling her wet dresses out to dry them by the fireplace.

"How did you …" was all Maura could ask.

Jane turned toward her, then abruptly away when she realized Maura wasn't dressed.

"I've got many skills," Jane replied casually.

Maura was stunned and said softly, "I can't believe you did that for me."

Jane immediately hardened. "I didn't," she snapped. "We needed our supplies. I especially wasn't letting go of the guns your father bought me. We have extra money, but not enough to replace all we lost. Anyway, I had just tightened the load before the bridge fell, and sure enough, our wagon was just sitting on the riverbed, load neatly tied. It only took a couple of hours to drag everything up. It's all drying on our new wagon out in the stables. We'll have to replace some things, so don't worry, we're still going shopping."

Maura could hardly believe what she was hearing. She only stared at Jane, still hiding her body behind the privacy screen. Finally Jane looked up at her.

"Oh," Jane acknowledged her predicament. She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off, revealing an undershirt beneath it. She tossed her shirt towards Maura, "Until your clothes dry."

Maura let it fall at her feet. She tried to calculate the immodesty of her situation. Eventually she decided she had no other option than to wear Jane's shirt, and she emerged from the privacy screen with her short legs bare and her long wet hair hanging down her shoulders.

Jane glanced at her and quickly away, having already seen enough to know it wasn't a sight she needed to meditate too long on.

Maura tentatively began to help Jane with the heavy, wet garments.

"Let me do this," Maura commanded softly. Jane was surprised but allowed Maura to take over.

"When you're decently dressed we need to hurry and get our shopping done. The wagon train is leaving tomorrow at dawn."

Maura couldn't believe how quickly Jane had turned their situation around. She felt guilty for having misjudged Jane so thoroughly. Maura didn't know a lot about rivers, but she knew diving one was no easy feat. Jane had risked her life for the garments she so adored mocking.

"Thank you, Miss Rizzoli," she said quietly while looking intently at the bloomers she was draping on the drying rack.

Jane stood and dug into her pocket for her tobacco. "I had to get our supplies. I must have dragged your chest back on accident."

Maura looked up at her with a gentle light in her eyes. "And dragged it in here and started drying my dresses by accident?"

"Well, it's after noon, I have been guzzling liquor," she referenced Maura's earlier assessment of her character with a wicked smiled. "I must have thought these were my ... frilly bloomers."

Maura giggled happily, then looked quickly into the fire to retain control of herself.

Jane started to light a cigarette but remembered Maura's dislike of it and put it away. "I'm going to step outside to smoke."

"Jane," Maura stopped her.

She looked back at Maura, who was sitting in the floor beside the fire, her bare legs curled beneath her, her wet hair framing what Jane was starting to realize was a remarkably incandescent smile.

"Yeah?" she asked dumbly, eyes attempting the ambivalent effort of both looking at and away from Maura.

"You're not wearing a shirt. Just … smoke out the window." Maura told her softly.

Jane glanced down at herself and chuckled. She didn't want to acknowledge that she was giddy from having made Maura happy. She sank into her thoughts and ceased from commenting further as she sat on the open window seal and smoked while Maura sweetly hummed to herself and waited for her clothes to dry.

* * *

Luckily Jane had planned to stock their wagon in Independence so all they had lost were their personal belongings and what supplies Patrick had sent. After she swam down and retrieved their remaining luggage, their only big loss were books and other paper items. Maura had some she treasured, specifically Longfellow's Evangeline, whose title character she insisted to Jane had been named after her by Longfellow when he met the young girl in Boston. Jane had lost a book of maps Patrick bought for her, but retrieved the photo of her mother she kept pressed in a ratty copy of the Book of Ruth.

First they replaced the rations they had lost, then went to the dress makers shop. Independence didn't cater to the same high fashion demanded in Boston, but Maura was deeply charmed by the simple, demurely sexy dresses she bought. She was shocked when Jane suggested she buy some pants and long underwear.

"Jane, I will stare bravely into the face of any horror, as long as I am not wearing men's underwear. But I will consider some small pants. Sir, do you have any little pants I can fit? Maybe in a Charcoal or Hazel? Preferably cotton or linen?"

Instead of taking offense to her exacting tastes, the clerk flipped his wrists excitedly and answered, "Oh, Honey, I have just what you're looking for!"

Jane wondered why she didn't find this as annoying as she would have only a few days prior. She politely nodded to all the clothes Maura held up for her inspection. She was even induced into complimenting a few items.

Finally they hurried to the book store, only to find it closed.

"Maura, I'm sorry," Jane said, "We can dry the books as best is possible, and replace them in the next city. Maybe you'll meet someone on the wagon train with something you can read."

"What about our maps?" Maura asked in earnest.

"We'll follow the wagon train for now. I'll replace them before we go into the mountains. Let's just go back to the hotel, have some dinner, finish packing and get some rest. We won't have a bed to sleep on after tonight."

Maura subconsciously glanced at Jane's mouth. She wondered how she had so warmed to the idea of sharing a bed with Jane in the span of one day.

"Sounds good," she murmured as she looped her arm through Jane's.


	3. The Devil's Gate

The wagon train kept a schedule by leaving camp at sunrise and traveling until evening with an hour stop for lunch. It traveled six days straight in this fashion, and parked all day Sunday to let the people exercise and attend their chores.

The wagon train was led by a captain, for Maura and Jane's wagon train it was a man named Lucias Clay who had been a Sheriff in his hometown. Lucias had introduced himself to Jane and Maura in Independence where he flashed them his debonair smile and assured them he would deliver them safely to California. He noticed Jane's hand move towards her pistol when he eyed Maura and decided they weren't as in need of his services as the rest of his flock.

It was their third Sunday. The people on their wagon train were milling about camp, doing chores or socializing. Maura walked up to a group of young women who were attending their sewing while watching their children play.

"Hey, Maura," one of the women said as she walked up.

"Hey, Emma," she returned politely. "Has anyone seen Miss Rizzoli?"

The women all looked up and told her no. Emma hesitated before answering, "I thought I saw her earlier … with Loretta Wilde. I don't know where she's at now."

Maura eyed Emma's face carefully. "What were they doing?"

Emma swallowed and returned her attention to the little overalls she was mending. "I have no idea. They walked in the woods over yonder. I'm sure they've come back to camp by now."

Maura looked at the treeline wearily. "Thanks, Em."

Maura had almost entered the little wood when she heard Jane's voice. Soon Jane and Loretta appeared through the brush. Loretta was holding her skirt up, giggling, and making a big effort out of high stepping through the briars. Jane was guiding her from behind with her hands on Loretta's lower back.

Maura cleared her throat and watched Jane's hands drop.

"Maura," she said lamely. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for you," Maura returned with arched eyebrows. "Carl Porter is asking after you in camp. I think he needs help fixing his wagon from when he went in that ditch yesterday."

Jane glanced at Loretta apologetically.

Loretta bit her bottom lip before saying, "I have to get back, too. Thank you for your help, Miss Rizzoli."

Jane smiled at her and slightly bowed her head. "It was my pleasure, Miss Wilde."

As they were walking back to camp, Maura asked, "Were you kissing her?"

"What?" Jane asked as she looked over her shoulder self consciously.

"Your lips are swollen," Maura said flatly.

"I was helping Miss Wilde gather firewood. Is that permissible or should I have begged your pardon?"

Maura stopped waking and faced her. "Why do you lie about it? I don't care who you lay with."

Jane looked down at her boots when she lied, "I didn't lay with her."

"Neither of you were carrying firewood."

Jane knew she was talking herself into a corner. She decided to put Maura on the defensive instead.

"You know, for someone who doesn't care who I lay with, you sure ask a lot of questions."

Maura started walking again, quickly.

"I just want to know who to expect to wake up and find choking you in your sleep," she replied saucily.

Jane couldn't stop herself from lightly giggling in response. They walked back to the camp without comment until Maura left Jane with Carl Porter.

As she walked away Maura said to Jane over her shoulder, "Oh, and Miss Rizzoli, your pants are unbuttoned."

Jane visibly cringed. She opened her mouth to respond at Maura's retreating back, but Carl cut her off.

"Thanks for helping me, Rizzoli. I really owe you one. This should only take a couple of hours."

* * *

It was after sunset when Jane returned to their wagon. Maura was busily packing their things. She looked up at Jane, and her worried expression softened at the sight of her.

"I'm sorry it's so late. We ended up having to grease the axle of his wagon. I'm exhausted."

Maura nodded silently. She didn't have a reason to care that Jane was late for dinner so she lightly shrugged and continued her packing.

"Dinner is still warm," she said to Jane as she sat.

"Did you cook?" Jane asked.

"Yeah, I was bored." Maura replied with her back turned. She had busied herself packing, getting their load ready for the trail the next morning.

"You don't have to cook, Maura. Patrick sent money for us to pay a cook. Some of these women out here make a good profit cooking for others."

"I know," Maura said, "But I like it. As long as you prepare the meat."

"I don't mind doing that. It's one less thing we've got to worry about. Oh, and I was thinking about teaching you to drive tomorrow."

Maura stopped what she was doing and turned to Jane who was scooping her dinner into a bowl.

"You want to teach me to drive the wagon?"

"Yeah. Unless you don't want to."

"If you think I can." Maura replied demurely.

"Of course you can. You're smarter than most men I've known. Maybe all of them."

Maura blushed at the compliment, and turned away to hide it.

"Which reminds me," Jane said as she reached behind her. From the waistband of her pants she pulled a book. It was dusty and she patted it on her leg. "Carl Porter didn't have a lot to trade to me for helping him today. His wife had this book. She said she bought it in the last town but hated it, something about the title character being a scoundrel."

Maura turned.

"I thought you might like it." She held the book out for Maura's approval. "It's something to read, at least. I know you're bored."

"I'm not that bored," Maura replied, but she was. She was inwardly thrilled that Jane had brought her the book and was going to teach her to drive.

"But thank you, Jane," she said as she took the little novel. "Wuthering Heights?"

Jane shrugged. "Mrs. Porter said it was burned in England. Apparently this work of lurid debauchery was written by a woman who had the audacity to deem it a love story. I think it sounds great."

Maura laid it on her bed in the wagon and started cleaning up their dinner.

Jane watched her wearily. "Maura, you know I'll do that in the morning."

"I know," she replied, "but I want to."

Jane watched Maura for a moment and thought to herself how completely wrong about Maura she had been. Out of everyone on their wagon train, Jane would probably choose Maura as the best person to be camping with. Maura was a brilliantly fast learner, and she accepted commands with very little comment. She could be finicky, but to be her worst fault, it wasn't that bad. And Jane knew if she weren't being forced to keep a sharp eye out for Maura that she would probably be drinking and chasing skirts from sun up to sun down. She may be protecting Maura, but Maura was taming her.

"We got a long week ahead," Jane finally said as she rose. "We'll be in the mountains in the couple of weeks. I want to teach you a few things before then, okay?"

"Okay," Maura replied as she braided her hair for the night.

Maura had a mattress in their wagon where she slept and kept her personal things. Jane usually leaned against the wagon's gate and slept, blocking Maura from exiting and anyone else from entering. Maura hated the way she slept, thinking she looked like an urchin curled up on the stone steps of a cathedral. She had asked Jane to buy a mattress for herself, but she said being uncomfortable helped her to sleep lightly.

Maura climbed on to her mattress and Jane tied the wagon's tent flaps. She leaned against the gate and her eyes closed involuntarily. Maura had lit a candle by which to begin reading her new book.

"Don't stay up too late reading," Jane said to her sleepily. "I want to …" and she fell asleep mid-sentence.

Maura kept watching her face after she fell asleep. She noticed a strange feeling for Jane, something she had never felt before. It was a tenderness, but it was compounded with a weariness. She was still annoyed with Jane for lying to her about Loretta, but she was also thrilled Jane had brought her a book. It created an odd confusion of feelings for Jane, and she realized that the confusion itself seemed to be its own feeling. It was both a longing for and a fear of Jane.

She covered Jane with a blanket, and read her book until she fell asleep.

* * *

The next day they packed up from lunch and Jane told Maura, "Let me get us started and then I'll hand you the reins, okay?"

Maura sounded nervous. "Okay."

"Don't worry, it's easy," Jane told her.

The wagon train began its long precession, and as their turn to get in line came, Jane pulled their wagon into place. Maura was sitting close beside her. When the wagons had settled into a steady pace, she put her arm around Maura and said, "Climb in my lap."

"Oh," Maura said as she climbed on to Jane's lap. Jane moved her legs apart and Maura sat primly between her parted thighs. Jane handed her the reins and she held them gingerly. Jane ran her hands along Maura's arms and told her how to control the movement of the horses . Maura found herself focusing more on how it felt to be sitting in Jane's lap than on driving the wagon.

"Hey," Jane said when she noticed Maura wasn't paying attention. "Watch the trail."

Jane slid from beneath her and let Maura sit alone in the driver's seat.

They drove along in silence for quite a long time. Jane polished and fussed with her revolver, then realized with a pang of regret she was bored. She had given Maura so much hell for annoying her, but she realized then the passenger seat was a boring place to be.

"How is the book?" Jane asked Maura, who was staring straight ahead.

Maura smiled, "Absolutely vile. I love it."

Jane shook her head. "Well, don't get love sick on me. If you arrive with so much as a hair out of place, your father will hang me from a tree."

Maura glanced at her. Her eyes wanted to linger but she returned them quickly to the trail. "He doesn't want me to be forced into sex. But he can't stop me when I'm ready."

Jane scrutinized Maura's face. "Maura, a woman like you has nothing to gain from laying around out of marriage. You're going to marry a wonderful man who will be a good husband to you. If you meet him on this trip, I'll leave that for you to follow up on when you arrive, but as long as you're in my charge, I will shoot any man who so much as pats you on the back."

"Jane-" Maura started to reply quickly.

"Don't argue with me," Jane cut her off.

"I wasn't going to," Maura snapped at her. "I was just going to say that my mother didn't marry a good man. She married a thug with a bad reputation."

Jane looked at her with what felt like irritation, but it immediately dissipated. She stared at Maura openly and finally said, "You deserve more" with a tone that silenced further comment.

* * *

Later that week Maura was driving their wagon and Jane was riding beside her, her shotgun laying across her lap. Jane suddenly reached for Maura's arm and calmly said, "Keep us steady, Maura."

Maura followed Jane's line of sight and gasped when she saw a small group of Natives watching their wagon train from the crest of an upcoming hill.

"Don't panic. They're just checking to see what we're doing. There aren't enough of them to harm us."

Maura exhaled carefully and they rode along for a moment of silence before they heard a shot fired at the front of the wagon train.

Jane stood on the wagon seat to see Lucias Clay with his rifle raised towards the Natives. They looked back dispassionately at him and slowly descended out of sight. He fired on them again, but they were gone.

"Why did he shoot at them?" Maura asked her.

"I don't know," Jane answered her with a tight tone. She was wondering the same herself.

* * *

They were playfully arguing at their fire that evening when Lucius walked up. Maura was insisting that Jane eat a plant that Maura had read in a book was very healthy. Jane was telling her no in the most colorful language she'd ever heard.

Lucias cleared his throat. They were standing very close. Maura grasped handfuls of leafy greens over their cooking pot and Jane had her arms wrapped around Maura's body, hands clamped on Maura's small wrists. She was wrestling her away from the pot and Maura was giggling uncontrollably while still arguing. They abruptly stopped when they heard him.

He motioned for Jane to have a "man's talk" away from Maura's attentive ears. They walked away from Maura and chatted with their backs to her.

"Miss Rizzoli, I expect you saw those heathens earlier."

Jane made a fierce expression but nodded at him.

"They were scouting us, planning an ambush no doubt. I want all the men to ready to shoot at will, and I've heard you're a pretty good shot, too."

"Lucias, I'm always ready to shoot, but I don't agree they were scouting us. This is Cheyenne land, we're skirting their villages. They're just making sure we plan to pass without quarrel."

"Oh, we've got a quarrel for them," he replied with a mean fire in his eyes.

Jane addressed him carefully. "Mr. Clay, to be frank with you, we're in more danger from each other than from them. If your boys fire at will, they're more likely to kill their own family than a Cheyenne. There's no reason for anyone to get hurt. They won't attack us."

He stared at her with hardening eyes. "Apparently you're willing to let this pretty young lady be taken captive or worse," he said in a threatening tone.

Jane's hand moved towards her pistol and he noticed. "Clay, I appreciate you coming by here. I can see you know how seriously I take Miss Isles' safety. I will be carrying my rifle, and I'll be ready to fire on anyone who aims to harm another."

He sensed the warning in her tone. He glanced at Maura who was motionless by their fire. She was clearly listening to their conversation.

"Good night, Mr. Clay," Jane spoke to him like she was dismissing him and he huffed away to the next wagon.

Maura looked at her with wide eyes when she returned.

"Did you put that rabbit food in my dinner?" Jane asked her.

Maura shook her head from side to side.

"What do you think the Cheyenne will do if we fire on them?"

Jane had no idea how Maura seemed to either read her thoughts or always be thinking the same thing as her.

"The Cheyenne are too wise to waste lives on senselessness like these men's hatred." She sighed deeply and sat by their fire. Maura came to stand beside her.

"Well, I'm glad I'm with you. I might be worried otherwise." She smiled down at Jane, and placed a small hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

Jane turned her face away from her and said, "Let's eat and get to bed. I have a feeling this is going to be a tough week."

Jane noticed Maura's eyes darken with worry as she dished out their dinner.

"Hey," Jane spoke to her, "Will you read to me tonight?"

"You can read, Jane. I've seen you reading signs." Maura replied without looking up.

"I know. But I'm lazy. Will you read it to me? I found another book for us …"

Maura's eyes lit up and she tried to hamper her excitement.

Jane pulled the little book of prose from her pocket. "Evangeline?"

Maura felt her face flush. She locked eyes with Jane, they shared a gentle expression.

"Where did you get that?"

"I have-" Jane started.

"Many skills, I know," Maura finished. "I hope you didn't break a heart to get this, Jane."

"I've never broken a heart in my life," she smiled softly as she laid the book in Maura's hand and rubbed her arm. "Let's finish dinner and go to bed. I'll pack us in the morning."

Maura turned the little book over in her hands. "Thank you, Jane," she said reverently.

* * *

Maura's chest was starting to rise and fall in a gentle rhythm.

"Are you okay?" Jane quietly asked her.

She nodded her head slowly.

"Good," Jane returned as she wrapped one hand around Maura's waist and used the other to run along Maura's extended arm. "You're doing great."

Jane clasped Maura's hand with her own. Her fingers cradled Maura's fingers. Maura turned her head and looked up at Jane.

"I'm nervous."

"It's okay. I'm right here. Do you trust me?" Jane asked her in a low tone.

Maura stared at Jane's lips and nodded.

"Say it," Jane told her.

Maura smiled but shook her head.

Jane laughed and her bouncing chest pressed against Maura's back.

"Say it," she instructed again playfully.

Maura sighed and leaned her head back. Jane couldn't stop herself from glancing down at Maura's extended neck.

Maura smirked and rolled her eyes towards the blue sky. "Fine. I trust you."

Jane laughed and snuggled closer to Maura's body. "Then don't worry."

Maura held her arm straight with Jane's help. She looked down the barrel of the pistol towards the glass bottles Jane had balanced on the fence. She winced as she squeezed the trigger.

Jane corrected her aim and the bottle popped.

"See?" Jane told her, "You're a natural."

Maura scoffed. "You did that."

"Me? You're holding the gun."

Maura smiled up at her. "Jane, I don't know why we're doing this. I'm never going to shoot anyone."

"I'm more worried about animals than people. Do you see those mountains?" Jane nodded her head at the intimidating mountains which had appeared on the horizon the week previous.

Maura nodded.

"We've got a couple more days until we reach the Devil's Gate. After that, we'll take the South Pass to Hasting's Cutoff. We'll spend three weeks going through the valleys. We'll be carrying the wagon more than riding it. Then we'll cross the desert, and enter the Rockies. It should only take about two weeks to make it across, unless we run into trouble. The Cutoff has a dubious reputation. As long as we make good time across the desert, the Sierra Nevadas won't be frozen, and we can hike up and down without stopping. It will take two weeks, if we're lucky. As soon as we come down, we'll be at Sutter Fort. Patrick has arranged for us to take a carriage to your house from there."

Mentally Maura knew it was all going to happen, but physically she couldn't imagine how. It seemed to her that all they had done so far was impossible and all they had left to do was impossible. She had no idea how she would have done it without Jane to drag her along.

"I don't want to kill any animals either. I don't want to kill anything, Jane," she whined.

Jane resumed her position behind Maura, pushing her into firing posture again. She put the pistol in Maura's hand and said quietly in her ear, "It's just a precaution, dear. If you do see a bear, it won't be asking you for a fashion tip, I can promise you that."

Maura laughed and leaned her body back against Jane's. "I don't even feel comfortable shooting these bottles."

"Well, would it change your mind if I told you these bottles are sexists?"

Maura laughed uncontrollably and Jane wrapped her arm tightly around her stomach and laughed with her.

Suddenly Maura's friend, Emma Woods, came bounding through the campsites. She shuffled to a stop at Jane and Maura's wagon, and made a face of pure embarrassment when she found Maura in Jane's arms.

Her breathing was ragged when she finally blurted, "Jane, Lucias is asking after you. They caught a Native and he wants you to translate for him."

Jane and Maura made the same expression of shock, anger, and dread.

Jane moved away and Maura caught her arm, "Don't."

Jane turned back to her, "I'll be right back."

Maura pulled at her sleeve, "Jane, don't."

Jane tried to muster up a smile for her. "Don't let these sexist bottles off the fence while I'm gone, okay? You protect our camp," and she put the pistol in Maura's small hand.

Maura ignored her joke and looked after her with an anxious expression.

* * *

Jane tried to keep her anger in check while she stalked to Lucias Clay's camp. There was a man keeping guard outside, he opened the tent as she approached. Inside Clay and three large rascals were holding their weapons on a Cheyenne boy. Jane could tell he wasn't any older than eighteen or nineteen. He was tied to the central post of the tent, his face bloodied and his clothing ripped.

Lucias grinned at her when she arrived and said, "Welcome to the party, Rizzoli."

It took all the self control she had ever exerted not to punch him in his face.

She nodded at him and he asked her, "Can you speak this mongrel's language?"

"I'll try."

Lucias didn't presume her intelligent enough to try anything clever.

"All right. Well, find out where his village is."

Jane leaned to her knee and asked him in her broken Cheyenne, "Are you okay?"

His face broke into a joyful smile at her words. "Please," he insisted, "Please set me free."

"I cannot," she told him sadly.

"But you must," he insisted. "My wife is heavy with child. She had pains so I traveled to get the Shaman. These men stopped me on the road. Please, my wife is having pains. I need to get the Shaman and return to her." His tone was so thick with agonizing worry that Jane hung her head.

"Well?" Lucias asked her in a rough tone. "Where the hell is the village?"

"Gone," she replied quietly.

"What are you talking about?" one of the men demanded angrily.

She stood up to their anger and used a condescending tone. "The Cheyenne migrate with their flock. They've followed the mustangs into the river valley. They're all gone on to Oregon. This boy was left behind."

Lucias eyed her suspiciously. "How did he get left behind?"

She thought fast. "He was drunk. Laid up drunk in the woods. They couldn't find him, so they left him."

He looked at the boy with simmering anger. "Just like those red skinned bastards to be laid up drunk," he commented sourly.

"Hell, that's good news for us, Clay," she tried to use a lighter tone, "The Cheyenne are ahead of us going north. We're headed south. Cut this kid loose and let him chase his people. He can't show us anything but a lot of empty teepees."

He menacingly looked down at the boy. "Are you sure that's what he said, Rizzoli?"

She stared into his eyes. "I didn't understand all the goat friend and fire-dance talk, but that's the gist. He's an unarmed boy crying in a skirt, Clay." She leaned closer to him. "These women out here won't think it very manly if you hurt him, little as he is."

He was bored by her nagging and told her, "I'll fetch you again if I decide I want your advice."

As Jane walked back to her wagon she tried to think of what to tell Maura.

When Maura saw her, she ran up and embraced her.

"Thank God," Maura said as she pressed her face to Jane's breasts. "Everybody's saying they've captured a mean Cheyenne warrior."

Jane looked down at her. She tried to nod. "Let's … get the wagon packed and go to bed."

"It's hours till sunset," Maura replied, confused.

Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder. "I'll explain in the wagon."

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Maura asked her with wide eyes.

They were sitting together on Maura's mattress in their wagon.

"Nothing," Jane said seriously. "They'll do their thing by sunrise. Clay has a schedule to keep, he can't go gallivanting for trouble with the Cheyenne. He may kill the boy, but he won't pursue his village."

"But," Maura asked with a teary tone, "What about his wife and baby?"

"Maura," Jane said softly as she laid a gentle hand on Maura's knee, "My job is to protect you. If we try to intervene, Clay may … get mad, or worse. We've got to travel with him seven weeks or more. From here on out we've got dangerous terrain to cover, I can't keep looking over my shoulder for him. I hate the yellow son of a bitch, but I can't piss him off."

Maura leaned her head down on Jane's shoulder. "Jane."

"Please don't argue," she replied wearily.

"I don't feel safe here anymore. I think I'd feel safer alone with you."

"We're in ten times as much danger if we leave the wagon train. The Cheyenne aren't a threat to three hundred people, but they're a threat to two women. But they are nothing considering the rivers, the mountain lions, the dysentery … Maura, you have no idea what fates we could suffer out here. I have to keep you safe. I have to keep you on the wagon train. I'm sorry."

"Jane, I trust you, remember?" Maura looked up at her earnestly.

Jane shook her head. "You're not going to convince me to put you in danger."

"Jane … You said we'll be in Sweetwater in two days. I want to leave the train there. We can catch the next one."

"No, we can't. It's too late in the season. If we lose time, we could freeze in the Rockies."

"Then we'll go ahead ourselves. We can move faster than the train. We'll make time if we go alone."

"Maura, we can't take the wagon alone. We'd have to leave the wagon and get horses. Can you ride?"

"I can ride side-saddle."

Jane suppressed an eye roll. "You have no idea what you're asking. If we get in trouble … we'll be all alone. It's a damn near death wish. And your father, oh, Maura, your father will probably scalp me himself."

"He won't when he hears about Lucias and how blood thirsty these men are. Jane, if we get trapped in the mountains with them, what chance will we have then?"

Jane felt a cold chill run down her spine. It was true. If they got snowed in, she and Maura might be safer alone than with the pack.

"We'll decide in Sweetwater," Jane said finally.

Maura was elated she had partially won, but felt compelled to push, "What about the Cheyenne boy?"

Jane sighed and leaned her head against Maura's. "They're probably going to set him free."

"Don't lie to me," Maura warned her.

Jane frowned. "Okay, they're going to kill him."

"I wish we didn't have to let that happen, Jane."

"Me too."

* * *

That night, Maura awoke to Jane rubbing her shoulder and whispering to her.

"Maura, wake up."

Maura rolled over and listened to Jane whispering in the dark wagon.

"I've made a dummy with my clothes on it. It's in bed with you. I want you to pretend it's me. Get up in the morning, and try to wake it. Talk to it. Pretend I'm too drunk to rise. Pack the wagon and get on the trail."

"Jane," Maura gasped.

"Shhh. Everything will be okay," Jane quickly replied. "Lucius will want to talk to me. Don't give us away. Tell him I'm passed out in the wagon. He'll want to look in the wagon. You need to pack it so that he can see the dummy but he can't climb in. Do you understand?"

Maura nodded.

"When the train stops for lunch, I want you to go into the woods alone. I'll be waiting for you, and we'll come back to camp as if I've just woken."

Maura felt Jane pressing the pistol into her hand. She shook her head and Jane leaned down to lightly embrace her.

"Yes. Maura, nothing will go wrong. I'm going to get the boy and take him where he needs to go. I'll be back before sunrise, and I'll follow the train until I can sneak up without being noticed."

"Won't they be angry when they find that he's gone?"

"Yes. But they can't turn back. Even if they send a few men to look for him, I doubt they'll find us." She stopped for a moment and breathed against Maura's neck. "I thought this is what you wanted. Don't you want me to help him?"

Maura reached a hand back to rub Jane's leg. "Yes. But please be careful."

Jane grinned in the dim moonlight that filtered through the tent. "Careful is my middle name."

"Really?" Maura asked her honestly.

"No," Jane replied with a laugh.

"Hey," she kissed Maura's forehead lightly, "Can you do this?"

Maura looked up at her and finally smiled. "Yeah, I can."

Jane moved away from her, and Maura asked quietly, "Jane?"

She turned back and whispered, "Yeah?"

"What is your middle name?"

Jane rolled her eyes but smiled. She patted Maura's leg. "I'll tell you when I get back."

* * *

Maura woke before sunrise. She was laying on Jane's chest. She smiled and rubbed her face against Jane's shirt before remembering it wasn't Jane. She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe before asking, "Jane?"

As she dressed herself in the wagon she softly said, "Wake up, Jane," again and again.

She made breakfast and called into the wagon a few times. She issued a threat. No one was watching her. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

She did her usual morning routine without Jane. She packed their things and carefully loaded the wagon as Jane had commanded. The dummy could be seen by lifting the tent flap, but approaching it at the back of their wagon would require climbing over what appeared to be carelessly packed crates, pushed corner to corner.

She called in to the dummy to rise many times, and finally climbed on the wagon seat alone. She felt a small seizure of terror as she did. She had never felt really alone in her life before. There had always been someone looking over her. Then she realized with a wave of warmth that Jane had told her she would be back by sunrise. Jane was probably watching her. She gathered her courage with that thought and readied the horses.

There was a delay in the departure of the wagon train, and she steadied her nerves as she waited. Soon Emma raced along the sides of the aligned wagons until she halted at Maura's feet.

"He wants Jane," she said with a white face and large eyes.

Maura yawned. "Who wants Jane? She's passed out. She drank herself to sleep last night."

Emma darted around to the back of their wagon and peered in the tent flap. Finally she sighed and ran away, shouting, "Thanks Maura" behind her.

* * *

Maura watched as three armed men left on horseback before Lucius led the wagon train back onto the trail. The men returned a few of hours later, alone. Maura couldn't see or hear anything more. She rode on in silence until lunch, occasionally calling back into the wagon, "Jane? Jane? Will you get up already?"

At noon Maura parked their wagon and unloaded for lunch. She put their food on the fire and casually grabbed a pack of tissues before walking to the nearby woods, nervously rubbing the outside of her dress pocket which held Jane's pistol.

She had been standing in the woods for about ten minutes when she heard someone ask, "Miss Isles?"

She turned to see Lucias Clay eyeing her.

"Yes?" She stammered, terrified.

"What are you doing?" He asked her suspiciously.

"Relieving myself," she pretended to be embarrassed to hide her fear.

"Oh," he replied with a grimace. Then he demanded. "Where is Rizzoli?"

"In our wagon," she replied innocently, moving towards the opening in the trees.

"I'm sure she's waking up by now," Maura assured him as she moved away slowly.

"She's meaner than a snake when she drinks like this. Be careful," her words carried a little warning, but it seemed to annoy him.

He didn't move to follow her at first but she crept away until he had no choice.

When they reached their wagon, he stalked around the gate hollering, "RIZZOLI?" for about ten minutes before shouting at Maura, "Hell, is she dead?"

Maura looked down nervously. "Maybe. Let me check on her."

He waited while Maura climbed into the wagon and across the many crates she had put in the way.

She knelt beside the dummy and rubbed it's back. She rocked it with her hand to make it look like it was moving.

"Jane?" she cooed to it. "Lucias is here looking for you. Jane? Wake up."

Finally she turned back to him and shrugged her shoulders.

He huffed away angrily, saying, "Damn drunken Native trash."

* * *

Maura was trembling when she parked their wagon that evening and unpacked their load. The sun was setting, and she feared to go into the dark woods to wait for Jane again. She unloaded their things and climbed in the wagon to speak to the dummy again.

She began to cry, but she pulled herself together wearily.

She started a fire and started to prepare their dinner. The sun was setting and Maura peered into the trees with a growing anxious frenzy in her stomach. Nightmarish fantasies of all the horrid things that might have happened to Jane were playing out on a loop in her mind.

She turned back to the wagon slowly and asked again, "Jane?" with a grievous tone.

Jane pushed her head out of the tent flaps. Her hair was messed up. She yawned and asked, "What?" with feigned attitude.

Maura's eyes lit up. She hardly believed what she was seeing.

"How?" Maura began to ask, then suddenly remembering their rouse, finished, "Did you sleep all day long?"

Jane rubbed her eyes. "What the hell else did I have to do?"

Maura smiled despite their game.

Jane called to her, "Hey, come find my cigarettes. And bring my flask!"

Maura moved the pot from the flames and climbed into the wagon behind Jane, pretending to be annoyed by her roguish antics.

Once inside, she flung herself into Jane's arms. Jane caught her in a strong embrace.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into Maura's ear. "I'm so sorry."

Maura wrapped her arms tightly around Jane's shoulders and pressed her face against Jane's neck. "What happened?" she demanded with a pout.

"You saved the day is what happened. I thought Lucias was going to snap."

Maura looked back at her with wide eyes. "You were there?"

"Yeah, I was just about to call to you when he walked up. Christ I thought for a second he was going to …" she paused and Maura returned her knowing gaze.

"Me, too."

"But you pulled it off. You got out of the woods and did everything I told you to. I'm so proud of you, Maura," she kissed Maura's head and Maura raised her face.

"Did you get the boy home safe?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I did. We got the Shaman and he had a baby girl. His wife is fine."

Maura looked back at her with an amazed, glowing smiled.

"Oh," Jane reached into her pocket and pulled out a hand-beaded necklace. "They gave me this as thanks." She held the beautiful necklace up to her neck and it looked ridiculous against the backdrop of her dirty collared shirt.

Maura's cheeks were high, her dimples showing.

"No?" Jane asked. She held the necklace up to Maura's neck. "You're right, that's better."

Maura snatched the necklace and leaned forward again to hug Jane.

"I can't believe you, Jane Rizzoli," she said with a dreamy tone. "What magic to you possess that allows you to get out of any tangle with a grin and a prize?"

Jane pressed her face against Maura's hair. "I don't," she said seriously. "We shouldn't have chanced it. But we did. Now, let's go outside and eat dinner. I want you to fuss at me a lot. Tomorrow evening we'll arrive in Sweetwater. And we'll leave the wagon train."

Maura leaned her head against Jane's shoulder, "Thank goodness."

"We'll spend a day in Sweetwater getting organized, and then we'll cross the Devil's Gate into the mountains alone. I hope we're ready for this."

"I'm ready," Maura looked up at her. "Can we buy a blouse to match my new necklace in Sweetwater?"

Jane looked down at her with disbelief. "Of course," she finally replied with a goofy grin.

* * *

That night Maura was laying on her mattress on her elbows. Jane closed the gate and tied their tent flaps down. She looked back at Maura in the dim candlelight.

Maura motioned for Jane to join her on the mattress.

"Everyone thinks we bed together anyway," she whispered innocently.

Jane shook her head. Maura suppressed her frown.

Maura curled up with her arm under her head and asked, "What is your middle name, Jane?"

Jane sighed. "I hoped you would forget about that."

"I didn't." Maura replied.

"Gabriella," Jane admitted after a pause.

Maura stared at her with an expression she didn't recognize. She yawned and closed her eyes.

"Just like in 'Evangeline'," she murmured as she fell asleep.


	4. Latter Day Saints and Saturday Sinners

When Jane and Maura's wagon train disbanded for a rest in Sweetwater, Jane told Lucias Clay that Maura was having unexpected feminine bleeding and they were going to have to turn back to Boston. He stopped listening the instant she said "feminine". He was not forlorn to see them go.

Jane and Maura rented a room in Sweetwater, and Jane sold their wagon and bought two good horses. She wasn't confident Maura could immediately ride alone, so she got a big pack for the second horse and planned to ride the first with Maura in her saddle. Maura was dismayed to realize how little the pack would hold, so Jane made more room than was necessary for her many outfits. They left Sweetwater the next day in order to move ahead of the wagon train which would be resting a week before continuing.

Maura did not like riding the horse, but she didn't comment. There was no way to read on the horse, so the only available activities were staring at the scenery and talking into Jane's ear. Jane had gotten ready to endure a lot of chatting, but to her surprise Maura was mostly silent.

As they set up their new campsite, Jane asked her, "Are you sore from riding?"

And Maura replied, "I just need a few days to get used to it."

Jane was amazed by how much Maura had changed in the short time they had traveled together. This was the same woman who had severely chastised her for transgressing against her wardrobe, and now she was taking her blistered bottom in stride.

"Are you comfortable in your pants?" Jane asked Maura as she arranged the wood for their fire.

Maura looked down at her new garment with distrust.

"I feel okay, but it still worries me. What if I have to get them off quickly?"

"Well, you just pull them down," Jane said, and she pantomimed the movement.

Maura stared back at her with confusion. "And take them completely off? Over my shoes?"

Jane tried not to laugh when she answered Maura's many questions. She would never have admitted it, but she was starting to find Maura's incessant question asking comforting.

Jane had made certain each of them had a separate bedroll. When Maura laid them across the fire from each other, they seemed too far away. Jane was watching her set up their campsite with impressed interest.

"Will I be safe so far away from you?" She asked Jane hesitantly.

Jane wanted to answer that Maura had no reason to fear sleeping across the fire, but the worried look in Maura's eyes softened her resolve.

"You can sleep beside me if that feels better."

Maura smiled at her. "Just until I'm more comfortable," she said as she laid their bedrolls beside each other.

* * *

They both had a lot more responsibilities once they were traveling alone. When they stopped riding for the day, Maura would unpack their camp while Jane built a fire. Then Maura would start dinner while Jane hunted. If she caught anything, she would prepare the meat while Maura prepared their beans, roots or vegetables. They would idly chat over dinner if anything interesting had happened that day, but more often they silently rested from their arduous hours on horseback. At evening they would wash and change into bedclothes. Jane would brush their horses and double check their gear while Maura read her book or mended their clothing.

They seemed to talk most when laying beside each other at night.

Two and a half weeks into their journey across the Rocky Mountains, Maura turned over in her bedroll and looked up at Jane.

"Tell me about yourself," she said without preamble.

Jane looked down at her. Maura was inside her bedroll, Jane was laying on top of hers. Maura had changed into a thin sleeping gown, Jane lay on her back in her undershirt and long underwear.

"What do you want to know?" Jane was looking up at the stars.

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?" Maura asked softly.

"Because they're dead. My parents died in Boston. I don't have any other family."

Maura's face fell. "I'm sorry, Jane," she whispered.

Jane was silent.

Maura asked, "What are you going to do when we get to California?"

Jane sighed. "I'm going to buy a ranch with the money Patrick has for me. Maybe see if I can find out what happened to my people, the Okwanuchu. I've read they've gone extinct. I'll probably just roam in the woods. That's all I've ever been good at anyway."

Maura's hand darted out of her bedroll and rubbed Jane's bicep. "That's not true, Jane."

Jane lightly laughed. "It really is. I was one married woman away from getting myself shot when we left Boston. It's strange, I hardly feel like the same person now." She meditated on her words as she spoke them.

Maura was silent for a while, but eventually resumed her inquiries. "I know you don't like me to ask, but when did you start … knowing how you felt about … women?"

Jane considered rebuffing her but eventually decided to acquiesce. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to corrupt you or shatter your ideal of feminine propriety, but considering that I felt you squeeze my butt yesterday, I think you can handle the truth."

"Jane Rizzoli, I was climbing on the horse!" Maura squealed with embarrassment as she gave her arm a playful shove.

"Well, it felt like you were trying to climb Mount Rizzoli," Jane giddily joked.

Maura blushed and hid her face with her blanket.

"I sleep with women because I prefer them. And because they have always made it easy for me. I was barely 18 when women started noticing me. I think I have picked up more handkerchiefs than a laundry wagon."

Maura smiled at her joke. She tried not to imagine the seductive image of Jane picking up her handkerchief for her with a wolfish smirk.

"But it's always … I'm not complaining, but it's always a certain type of woman. Fast women, married women, women who want sex. I'm not saying I want to settle down, but it might be nice to sleep with the same person more than once."

Maura contemplated Jane in a committed relationship. With herself. Then she hastily shook the image free.

Jane finally glanced at Maura when she didn't react.

"That's all I had to say to render you speechless?" She smirked, "I should have told you months ago."

"Jane," Maura scolded playfully. Her head was laying on her bent arm and she was contemplating Jane very seriously.

"What are you thinking?" Jane asked her when she couldn't bare any more scrutiny.

Maura was thinking about how it would be to have Jane as her husband. It was one thing to imagine Jane taking her into the woods to kiss, or laying with her in her bedroll, but Jane had put a different image in her mind: the image of Jane needing something from another woman. The image of Jane happily coming home to a woman. The image of Jane sharing her day with another woman the way she and Maura had shared the last couple of months. The image of Jane loving another woman made Maura's heart twist with a jealousy she had never felt.

"Nothing," Maura replied casually.

Jane looked at her, "What are you going to do when we get to California?"

Maura shook herself from her fantasies. "Oh. Father promised I can help manage his business. So I guess I'll learn how that works, and stay busy until I find something more engaging or he allows me to return to Boston."

Jane nodded and continued her star gazing.

"You should," Maura's voice cut through the thick silence, "Stay for awhile in our home. Until you can get your ranch. I know father would love to have you there. I wouldn't mind."

Jane hesitated, "Maybe. We'll see. Who knows, by the time we arrive you'll probably be sick of me."

Maura looked at her contemplatively. She knew that wouldn't be the case. In fact, it was the opposite she was really worried of, that she wouldn't be ready to let go of Jane. Not in California and maybe not ever.

* * *

The next day was long and very difficult. The uphill terrain was too steep to ride, so they struggled alongside their horses. Maura refused to lean continually on Jane's arm, but she frequently lost her footing and fell into Jane's embrace. Their only dialogue all day consisted of

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I've got you."

They set up a makeshift camp that evening and slept facing each other in the crisp mountain wind. Maura had felt it was too chilly for Jane to waste energy hunting, so they ate a sparse dinner and attempted the impossible task of resting on their inclined bedrolls.

* * *

They broke camp early, and crested the mountain before noon. As they descended the sun began to shine, and they rode along through the day in relatively peaceful sunlight.

When they reached the last summit, Jane slid off the horse to look through an opening in the trees. They could see the outline of a city below.

"That's Great Salt Lake City. The Mormons established it about a decade ago. We'll be there tomorrow, but we can't stay long. The Mormons are kind to one another, but overly judgmental of outsiders. I would prefer not to stop at all, but we've got to resupply. Beyond the city is nothing but desert. We'll have to take as much water as possible. Our horses could die otherwise."

"In Boston they say the Mormons are a peaceful and generous people."

"They are. To one another. I doubt they'll be generous with me," she glanced down, indicating her men's clothes and general atypical appearance.

Maura contemplated her first impression of Jane with a pang of embarrassment. She, too, had judged Jane incorrectly. But who could ever know the depth of Jane? Who could, upon first meeting, ever guess her profound complexities and unbelievably kind nature?

Jane hurried back into the saddle. Maura wrapped her arms instinctively around Jane's waist and laid her cheek against Jane's shoulder.

* * *

For their first week of riding together, Maura had been conscious not to lay all over Jane. But it became difficult at higher altitudes where the sharp wind pierced her stylish jacket. Finally she allowed herself to snuggle to Jane for warmth, but she held herself back from becoming too familiar with the feel of Jane's body next to hers. Jane never reacted to her embraces.

"Let's descend to the next level spot and make camp. It looks like it's going to be steeper further down," Jane said as she led their horses back onto the trail.

They rode down in silence until Maura felt Jane's body alert.

"What is it?" Maura whispered.

"Shh," Jane said quietly.

Maura listened, but she couldn't hear anything.

Suddenly Jane jerked the reins, causing their horse and the packhorse to take off clumsily. They hastily made their way into an opening in the woods. Then Maura heard what Jane had heard. It was the sound of a woman screaming.

They darted through the trees in the evening shadows until they came upon a wagon parked by the side of the trail. The sound of a woman screaming in agony echoed from the wagon into the dense forest.

Jane hurried from the saddle and Maura said, "Jane, wait," and tried to catch her vest.

"Stay here," Jane commanded to her.

Maura stood frozen with fear beside their horse.

Jane approached the wagon with her shotgun drawn. Suddenly a young man in filthy clothes ran around from behind the wagon with his revolver drawn. Jane raised her gun to face his and looked at him harshly until he yelled, "Help!" and dropped his gun.

She and Maura were stunned by his sudden appearance.

"My wife is having a baby!" He yelled at them over the woman's screams.

Jane and Maura visibly exhaled.

"Please help her!" he yelled as he pointed at the wagon.

It was a grand, expensive wagon. Instead of a canvas cover, it was a large bunker fully carved from wood. The back opened by two heavy doors. Jane hesitantly lowered her gun and approached the rear doors. She opened one and the screaming flooded into the air around them.

Inside Jane and Maura could see a young woman laying on a bunk in labor.

Maura immediately darted from the horse, Jane barely caught her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" She asked dumbly.

Maura looked at her with determined resolve. "Birthing the baby."

"Do you know how?" Jane asked in disbelief.

"Of course, Jane. My mother is a Physician. I grew up at her hospital."

Jane nodded at her wordlessly. There were few things in life Jane was truly incapable of doing, chiefly among them delivering babies. The idea terrified her. So she gratefully stood aside and let Maura take control.

They went inside the wagon and Maura said, "Close the doors, it's cold."

Maura tried to talk to the woman but she was completely delirious.

"Where is Pa?" She frantically asked again and again.

They exchanged sad glances. The woman apparently had no idea where she was.

Maura used Jane's knife to cut away her clothing. She told Jane to get the supplies Maura kept in their pack in case either of them was hurt.

Outside the wagon, the young man was shifting from foot to foot in the cool evening. The sun was beginning to set, and Jane glanced at the sky worriedly. She knew that she and Maura would not be able to safely make camp by nightfall. She hurriedly gathered the supplies and other things Maura had requested and returned to the interior of the closed wagon.

Jane handed Maura the supplies, and tried to watch as Maura's rapid hands quickly set the materials into order beside her. The movements seem to make Jane dizzy, she tried to steady herself by stepping back and leaning against a counter.

She glanced down to see Maura's progress, but was made nauseous by the bloody sight she encountered. She shook her head and mumbled, "Maura, I'm … outside for a minute."

Jane slipped outside of the door and instantly felt better. She took a few breaths in the cool night air. She looked around to find that the young man was nowhere in sight. She wondered where he had gone, but felt it best to stay close to Maura in case she needed help. Finally the woman's screaming ceased. Jane listened carefully with her breath held until she heard the tiny cries of the infant. Then she smiled deliriously and cheered for Maura.

* * *

Maura laid the baby carefully into her mother's arms.

"Congratulations," Maura whispered to her, "You have a healthy baby girl. She's beautiful."

The woman raised her face and smiled at her baby.

"Who are you?" she asked Maura weakly.

"Oh, we're travelers of the Trail. My," she hesitated, "friend and I were passing by when we heard your cries. Your husband called to us for help."

The woman's face contorted and she asked blearily, "My husband?"

"Yeah," Maura replied, nodding over her shoulder, "Don't worry. He's right outside."

The woman frowned at her. Her eyes were starting to dilate. "My husband is dead."

"What?" Maura asked her quietly. She felt then that she should call for Jane, like a seizure of panic was slowly tearing its way up her chest.

"Pa stopped the wagon this morning. He said there was a fella stalking around. He told me to stay here. He left and," the woman began to cry, "I heard gunfire. He hasn't come back yet." She began to tremble and weep, "He hasn't come back."

Maura turned towards the door of the wagon, she felt like she were moving in quicksand.

She screamed, "Jane!"

* * *

Jane had went to their horse for a cigarette after the baby was born. She hadn't smoked one in weeks, but it seemed appropriate. She was digging in the saddle bag when she heard the young man walk up behind her. The hair on her neck stood up. Her hand carefully readied itself to draw her weapon.

"This ain't personal, lady," he spoke with a restrained frenzy in his tone, "I gotta get acrost that desert somehow. Ain't got no supplies left. These fellas I was traveling with left me for dead up here. It ain't personal. But I gotta take your pack."

"You can have it, buddy," she said coolly. "We don't need it that bad. Take the pack and whatever supplies you want."

She turned to see he was holding a rifle on her. She could tell by the expense of the gun it didn't belong to him.

He looked at her with quietly cruel eyes.

"I'm serious," she replied, her hand slipping imperceptibly closer to her gun, "Take anything you want, but I won't let you hurt those women."

"I know," he replied darkly. "You got the eyes of hero. S'why I cain't let you live. You heroes never stop."

Suddenly they heard Maura scream her name. He turned slightly, giving Jane enough time to draw her weapon and shoot him. But he had pulled the trigger of his rifle as he turned, and the bullet pierced Jane's shoulder without a sound. She fell onto her knees with a gentle thud.

* * *

Jane awoke with a gasp. Her hand instantly found Maura's and she squeezed it when she frantically asked, "Are you okay?"

Maura replied, "Shhh. I'm fine. We're both fine." She glanced at the pale woman lying in her bunk with the sleeping infant in her arms, "We're all fine."

Jane's eyes focused and she saw that Maura had removed her shirt and was bandaging her shoulder.

"How bad?" She asked weakly.

"You'll be fine until we get to a doctor. Did you say Salt Lake is just a day away?"

Jane tried to focus. "You and I could make it that fast, but …" she trailed off.

Maura wrapped Jane's shoulder in silence and finally pulled her upright. Jane winced as she sat.

Maura pushed her flask into her hand. She looked down at it with confusion.

"For the pain," Maura said quietly.

Maura pushed the flask at her with a serious expression and she sipped it lightly.

"Is he dead?" Jane asked after a moment.

"Yeah. He's still outside. I didn't know if he was alone so I dragged you in here and locked the doors."

"Good girl," Jane murmured to her. "I think he was alone, but we're lucky to be locked in this thing for the night. How is she?" she asked quietly, indicating the woman on the bunk.

"She's in shock," Maura replied sadly.

"That's probably for the best," Jane returned.

"What are we going to do, Jane?" Maura asked as gently flattened her palm over Jane's bandaged shoulder and gently pet it.

Jane reached her unwounded arm around Maura's waist and pulled her into an embrace. "We're going to snuggle up on that bunk and get some rest. Whatever happens, we're going to need our energy."

Jane had never embraced Maura so intimately or suggested that she and Maura sleep any closer than rigidly beside each other in separate bedrolls. Maura's mind wanted to keep worrying, to keep obsessing about the dismal situation they were in, but she found that Jane's ability to cheer her up in any situation had won. She smiled despite her anxiety and nodded at Jane.

Maura helped Jane to undress to her bottom layer and comfortably lay down. Then Jane nervously averted her eyes as Maura shimmied from her little pants. Her gown was outside on their pack, and she didn't have the heart to ask the woman for anything to wear. She hesitated before climbing into bed wearing only her bloomers and undershirt but Jane held the blanket open to her in a comforting gesture, and she gingerly positioned herself on Jane's good shoulder.

"Hey," Jane said as Maura settled in beside her. She pulled her arm protectively around Maura's neck.

"Yeah?" Maura asked, finding her eyelids already heavy from fatigue.

"I'm so proud of you," Jane said sadly.

Maura noticed the pain in her tone. "Jane, you didn't know he was a bandit. You couldn't have known. You protected us. It's not your fault."

Jane closed her eyes and a tear ran down her cheek onto Maura's head. "I know," she said unsteadily.

Maura pressed a kiss firmly on her shoulder. "I'm serious, Jane. It's not your fault."

Jane exhaled deeply and laid her face against Maura's head. "I guess I get the new shirt this time. Unless bullet holes are in vogue this season."

She felt Maura's chest shake with an exhausted giggle.

* * *

The next morning the woman in the wagon was lucid enough to tell her story. Her wealthy Mormon father had brought her along the wagon train to join the colonists at Salt Lake City, but her pregnancy became problematic and they fell behind. They had less than fifty miles to cover when he met his violent end. Jane found his body not far away, and with Maura's help gave him a proper burial.

Jane and Maura were standing beside their horses as the sun rose into the sky. Maura had cleaned and redressed Jane's wound. The wound was already starting to grow pink at the edges. Jane refused to admit any reaction at all to being shot, but her eyes were burning with the repressed pain.

Jane sighed. Her mind was foggy, she was having trouble deciding on a plan. She thought aloud, "We can't leave the woman and her baby. But I can't drive the wagon down with one arm. And you can't drive it down because the cliffs are too steep. One wheel off the path, and it's going to tumble over the edge. But we can't put her on the horses, and she can't walk."

Maura looked at Jane with concern. She could tell Jane didn't feel good.

"Can you ride the horse with one arm?"

"Yes," Jane replied, "But there aren't enough horses. If we unpacked our second horse and put her and the baby on it, we'd have to make it down with no supplies at all."

Maura instantly replied, "We can't do that. You, she and the baby all need water and medication. We can't go down without supplies."

Jane sighed, "Then there's no way. We can load the wagon with all the supplies, abandon our horses, and I can try to drive the wagon down. But it's so risky with my arm like this."

"It's too risky," Maura added softly.

"I agree, Maura, but what else can we do? If we leave the girl here and send help back, she'll be alone for at least eight hours. She's not safe up here alone."

"Jane?" Maura gently took her hand.

"Yes?"

"Do you trust me?" Maura asked her earnestly.

Jane looked down at her with harsh eyes. "No way, Maura."

"Jane," she squeezed Jane's good hand, "say you trust me."

Jane looked away angrily. "I trust you, but you're not driving the wagon down."

"It's the only way, Jane." Maura replied quietly.

"No," Jane barked at her.

They emptied the wagon of all the extra possessions. The woman said she was meeting relatives at a farm outside Salt Lake, so she would be selling the wagons contents anyway. They unpacked their horse and put their light load in the wagon so Jane could more easily maneuver the horses down the steep cliff face. Maura helped the woman to wash herself and dress, and she packed her and the baby safely into their bunk in the wagon.

Jane and Maura were facing each other beside the wagon.

"Remember," Jane said, "If it doesn't feel safe, don't chance it."

Maura nodded solemnly.

"And if you get scared, just take a minute to calm yourself."

She nodded again, and reached to button the top button of Jane's jacket.

"I'll go ahead of you and point out trouble spots."

Maura nodded, and pushed Jane's hair out of her face.

Jane was silent for a moment. They stared into each others eyes.

"You don't have to do this." She finally said. Her face had grown paler.

Maura smiled at her bravely. "I know, Jane."

* * *

Jane went ahead on her horse with the empty packhorse trailing behind her. Maura carefully pulled the wagon onto the steep, rocky path. The descent down the mountain took hours at the careful pace Jane set. Maura wanted to race down the mountain to get Jane to safety, but she understood the dogged commitment to Maura's safety that kept Jane at her steady pace.

Jane looked back often to point to ditches and large rocks on the path. As she grew paler and paler, her eyes seemed to gloss over with exhaustion, but she continued along without mentioning it. Maura never let the wagon wheels stray from the trail. She realized with astonishment that she could perform perfectly under the most extreme circumstances as long as she was doing it in order to protect Jane.

When they reached the bottom, Maura climbed down from the wagon before Jane slid from the saddle. Maura was at her side when she tumbled from the horse clumsily, saying, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," Maura murmured, "Let's have some water, okay?"

Maura checked on the mother and baby. She and Jane rested together for perhaps fifteen minutes before Maura said, "Let's get back on the trail."

Jane looked up at her sharply. She realized from Maura's tone what Maura was worried about.

"Maura," she realized her words were slightly slurred, so she made an effort to sit up straight and articulate, "I feel fine. I've been shot before. I've been shot …" she tried to remember how many times she had been shot, but she couldn't. Her mind felt too foggy. "A lotta times," she concluded assuredly.

"Considering your exploits with married women, that's not surprising," Maura joked.

Jane giggled, almost deliriously.

Maura grabbed her good arm and pulled her up.

Jane climbed on the horse and they continued down the trail. Maura kept an ever watchful eye on Jane's fading pallor. She was more relieved to see the buildings of Salt Lake popping up on the horizon than she had ever been in her life.

* * *

They were lucky that the woman's family lived very near to where they had entered the town. Maura hurried down from the wagon and abbreviated the tale of their journey for the concerned Mormon farmers who embraced the young woman and her child. They thanked them reluctantly, but Maura barely had time to wonder about their apparent reservation before turning her anxious attention back to Jane.

Jane was leaning heavily against their horse and nodding her head.

Maura heard the farmer ask, "Why is that woman dressed as …" he began to whisper, "a man?"

Maura turned back to him, totally bewildered. "She …" she didn't have time to explain, so she pulled a trick from Jane's hat. Innocent confusion. "She must have dressed like that to trick the bandit. The bandit who almost murdered your niece along with your bother." Her tone was sharp.

"Oh," he said sourly. "Well, she don't look right."

Maura was livid and stomped away without further comment.

"Get on the horse," Maura commanded as she approached Jane.

Jane pulled herself clumsily into the saddle and Maura slid in behind her and wrapped her arms around Jane protectively.

"Hurry. We need to find a doctor, Jane."

"No," Jane muttered as they started into town.

"What? Jane, you're in bad shape."

"We can't go to a doctor. We have to get to a saloon." She was badly slurring all her words.

"I hardly think this is the time for prostitutes and booze, Jane."

Jane giggled. "Or is it the perfect time?"

Maura whined helplessly. "Jane, please, you're delirious and I need to get you to a doctor."

"No," Jane barked seriously. "These folk aren't welcoming. They'll run us outta town, or worse." She stopped to catch her breath. "We gotta get to the saloon, and get a room. The ladies there will take care of us."

She leaned over drowsily and Maura pulled at the reins around her body.

Within minutes, they had exited to the far side of town where, sure enough, a little saloon was surreptitiously waiting for them.

Instead of dismounting the horse, Jane fell into Maura's arms and she yelled for help.

A troupe of beautiful, scantily dressed woman came out and spirited Jane into a clean, warm, room. They even brought their large pack and supplies inside, and stabled their horses.

Maura was unable to say more than, "Please, we need help. My friend … said you would be nice to us," tearily to the Mistress who had nodded solemnly and taken them both inside without a word about her fee. A doctor knocked on their door within fifteen minutes of their arrival. He gave Jane an injection to stop her infection and left some medication for Maura to administer.

* * *

Jane awoke in darkness. Her shoulder was sore, but she could tell it had been cleaned and rebandaged.

"Maura?" she asked.

"I'm here," Maura replied. She was sleeping as they had the night before, with her head on Jane's unwounded shoulder.

"I never expected to wake up in bed with you at a Cat House," she said quietly, blandly attempting a joke.

Maura felt blank towards her comedy. She rubbed Jane's arm and finally said, "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," Jane replied after a moment.

"Don't worry me like that again."

Jane snuggled her closer and kissed her head. "I won't," she promised.


	5. Jane's Addiction

The morning after they arrived in Salt Lake City, Maura awoke to Jane standing fully dressed in their hotel room.

"Maura, wake up," she whispered. "Come on, it's before sunrise. Let's get packed so we can leave town early."

Maura looked at her blearily with a confused expression.

Jane added, "I know it's early, but we've got some shopping to do and I want to avoid the crowds."

Maura addressed Jane carefully, "Jane, come back to bed."

Jane's mouth fell open at Maura's dismissal of her command. "No, we have errands to …" she trailed off because Maura rolled back over, pulled the blankets around her neck and curled up again sleepily.

"Jane, we're not leaving Salt Lake until you're well enough to travel. At least a week. So, please, get back in bed. I know you're tired."

Jane stared at her back, "A week? Maura, we'll fall behind. And the wagon train could catch up to us."

Maura spoke without facing Jane again. "Don't lie to me, Jane. We're ahead of schedule and the wagon train went north."

Jane stammered, "A week? What are we going to do for a week in Salt Lake City?"

"Get back in bed."

Jane dropped her head and loudly sighed.

"Come on, I'm getting cold," Maura whined.

Finally Jane shook off her clothes and returned to warm bed. Maura rolled over and put a small hand on her arm.

"You were shot at close range by a rifle. You can't cross the desert in this shape, Jane. You'll dehydrate and die. I'm sorry."

Jane knew she was right. She reluctantly replied, "Fine. A few days. Then we're moving on."

* * *

Jane woke two hours later, already bored. She looked around the room dismally. It seemed to make her claustrophobic. She was sleeping on her back. She looked over at Maura, who was asleep beside her, facing her with one of her hands laid on Jane's bicep. Jane looked at her face and was struck by how incredibly beautiful she looked in the morning sun. She glanced down at Maura's hand resting on her arm, and immediately she imaged pushing Maura's soft thighs apart with her angular hips. She imagined the tightness in her lower abs from thrusting and the breathy way Maura would moan her name. She shook the thoughts from her head with a jerk.

Jane slipped from the bed with a caged look on her face. She glanced around their room for any way to occupy herself, but she found nothing. She couldn't go into town because she feared troubled with the religious population, she couldn't go out into the saloon because she feared interacting with the ladies. Jane hadn't been with a woman since Loretta Wilde, and she was actually proud of herself. It was the longest she had gone for years without finding a woman's company. But it wasn't just the women she feared, the poker and the liquor and general rowdy atmosphere was calling to her sinful side like a siren's song.

She anxiously dressed herself and slipped from the room.

* * *

Maura woke an hour later alone in bed. When she realized Jane had left, she hurried into her dress and shoes. She felt more panicked than when Jane had been shot, but she wasn't instantly aware of why. She bounced down the hall to the main room of the saloon, a large circular bar room. The center was filled with tables, along the wall was a piano player and a few card tables, and around the room were the many halls that led to the rooms. She was relieved not to see Jane at the card tables or the bar, but her fear was that Jane was in one of the many rooms with one of the many women.

"Have you seen Jane?" Maura asked the Mistress, who she found casually tending bar.

The Mistress glanced into her eyes and was aware of the possessive worry she saw there. She shook her head "no" and replied, "Check the stables. She may be tending your horses."

When Maura entered the stables, she heard Jane's voice.

"That's a good horse. Yes, how beautiful. So beautiful. The most beautiful horse I've ever seen. Look at you. What a horse," she cooed playfully. "And what about you? You're a great horse, too. Yes, you are."

Maura stepped around the corner to see Jane brushing their horses with her good arm.

She smiled dreamily and leaned against the wall to watch her.

"We're just resting for a few days, then we'll finish our trip and get a ranch in California. You ever been to California, horsey? There's a lot of green grass out there. If you're good, maybe I'll find you a handsome stallion to run around with. How does that sound?"

Maura couldn't suppress her giggle.

Jane turned, clearly surprised. She relaxed when she realized it was Maura.

"Did you sleep well?" She asked.

Maura nodded. "Did you?"

Jane looked down and nodded.

"What?" Maura asked.

"What?" Jane asked back innocently.

"You've got a strange look in your eyes …" Maura started as she walked up to Jane. "What's wrong?"

Jane turned back to the horses. "Nothing. I'm a little bored, but you were right. I'm not well enough to cross the desert. We should stay at least a week."

"You say that like it's a prison sentence, Jane," Maura replied empathetically.

"I'm just used to being on the road. It will be strange to be stationary."

Maura pet Jane's back comfortingly, "I thought you would be happy. I assumed if there was any place you felt comfortable staying, it would be here. The women love you. In fact, they haven't stopped asking about you since we came. Three asked me on the way to the stable if you are okay."

Jane grimaced. "Yeah, they're … sweet ladies."

"Jane?" Maura used her hand to pull Jane's shoulder until she faced her.

"Yeah?" Jane asked dumbly, feigning ignorance.

"What's really wrong?"

Jane glanced away. "N-nothing."

"Do you feel okay? I need to change your dressing, by the way. When you're finished we should find a place to bathe so I can get you reset."

Jane imagined Maura naked in a bath and frowned at her own inability to control her varied lusts. "I feel fine. The baths are in the rooms. We don't have one because we're in a guest room. But we should move to a room with a bath and," she cleared her throat, "two beds."

Maura suppressed her frown. "Okay," she replied lightly.

* * *

That evening Jane was pacing in front of the window. Maura had stopped reading a while before, she was only staring at Jane over the top of her little novel. They had moved into a room with two beds and an adjacent bath, and it was close to the main bar room. They could hear the piano and the merry sound of people drinking and flirting.

Jane leaned against the window and stared out at nothing. Then she pushed off and paced a few more times before returning to gaze out the window.

"What's wrong, Jane?" Maura asked.  
Jane sighed. "I'm … really bored," she finally admitted.

"Well," Maura started casually, "Go have a drink, play cards, see the ladies. I'm sure they will be glad to have you."

Jane's eyes scrutinized Maura. "I feel strange doing that. What will you do in here?"

Maura returned her eyes to her book. "If you don't want me to come-"

Jane realized she hurt her feelings too late. "No, I want you to. I just didn't know you wanted to. I never imagined you in a saloon."

Maura continued pretending to read. "Do whatever you want, Jane."

Jane looked at her sadly for a long moment. "I want to stay with you."

Maura's eyes shot to hers. She smiled, "No, you don't. You want to go have a drink and play cards. I see it in your eyes, Jane."

Jane turned back to the window and stared out. Maura pretended to resume with her book.

Eventually Jane spoke to her. "Do you want to come with me?"

Maura's heart jumped. She had no idea why she was suddenly so interested in playing cards at a saloon, but she was. She was thrilled Jane had invited her.

Maura carefully replied, "I don't know how to play cards."

Jane's face finally erupted into a giant grin. "Then I've got a better idea," she said as she bounced out the door of their room. "Wait here," she added her shoulder.

Jane returned with a bottle of whiskey under her arm, two glasses in her hand, and a pack of cards sticking from her vest pocket. Maura appraised the sight with excitement.

"Do you want to learn how to play?" She asked with a grin.

Maura could only nod at her happily. She looked at the two glasses in Jane's hand.

Jane noticed her glance, "Have you ever drank before?"

"Wine," Maura replied demurely. "But I can try Spirits with you."

Jane sat up a makeshift poker table between them, poured their drinks and sat down to shuffle the cards. She found she couldn't shuffle with one hand, so she explained the procedure to Maura, who took the cards and shuffled them flawlessly.

It took Maura less than half an hour to learn to play. She beat Jane by the end of the night. She didn't like the taste of whiskey, but she drank it with pride because Jane had shared the experience with her.

They played cards and drank and laughed nearly half the night. The early cock was already crowing when Jane and Maura drunkenly slipped into their separate beds. Jane was grateful for the space away from Maura, but she felt Maura's absence beside her stronger than she expected to. She noticed she was too restless to sleep until she turned her face to watch Maura's eyes flutter lightly as her ample chest gentle rose and fell. The sight of Maura sleeping finally calmed her, and she fell asleep heavily.

* * *

The next morning Jane told Maura they needed to go shopping. She asked Maura if she could wear one of her dresses. Maura was shocked, but picked her smallest dress for Jane. The bust was still visibly baggy, but Maura thought she looked almost painfully gorgeous. They walked and talked in town without getting unnecessary attention.

The Mistress invited them to eat with she and the ladies that evening, but Jane hastily declined. Maura was surprised and asked her later,  
"I thought you liked spending time with women, Jane."

Jane's nerves had unwound a little in their three days there, but she was still antsy.

"What are you asking, Maura?" She clarified.

Maura thought carefully before replying, "I don't know, Jane. I guess I just thought you'd be more excited to be here. I know you're ready to get back on the Trail, but … I thought this was sort of your Land of Milk and Honey."

Jane laughed ironically, "More like City of Sodom."

Maura was confused and asked, "What are you worried about?"

Jane didn't know how to express what she was feeling. She shrugged her shoulders.

Maura walked up behind her and pet her back comfortingly. Jane had changed back into her own clothes. She was wearing her buck skin trousers below her boots, and a loose white linen shirt with long belled sleeves. She leaned back into Maura's touch and sighed.

"It's okay if you want to have some fun, Jane. I think you earned it," Maura told her in a quiet, sincere tone.

Jane nodded. She finally said, "I don't. That's the strange thing. When I imagine going out there, I know I'll just be in agony over … what you're doing in here."

Maura listened intently as Jane carefully assembled her explanation.

"It's strange. I want to go out there. I'm really bored in here. And I keep imagining how fun it would be, how exciting. I want to see the Dealer's eyes when I fleece him. I want to call to the bartender for another round. I want to sloppily grin at ladies and keep a careful out for trouble."

Maura smiled and shook her head at Jane's antics.

"But … I can't do that with you in here. I would just be looking over my shoulder and wondering what you're doing, if you're mad at me, if you're lonely, if you've gone to bed yet," she made the last part sound pathetic, like she was embarrassed to have grown fond of Maura.

Maura asked carefully, "But you don't want me to go with you?"

Jane replied in a huffy tone, "I can't take you out there. You're innocent and sweet and smart. You're clean and beautiful. And there's no one else like you out there."

"You're embarrassed of me?" Maura asked meekly.

Jane abruptly turned and took Maura's hand with her own. "No, no. I just told your father I'd return you with your innocent and integrity. I'm not sure he would be okay with it, and I'm not sure I'm okay with it either. I don't know if I like the idea of taking you out there."

"Jane," Maura addressed her softly, "Considering all I've done in the last few months, how can you think I'm this fragile? I think it's sweet that you want to protect me, but I really doubt I'm in danger from a little jazz piano. Besides, you already taught me how to play cards. I liked the whiskey, it didn't make me sick." Her green eyes stared directly up into Jane's brown ones. "Is that all you're worried about?"

Jane wondered. Was it? No, there was something else. She didn't want Maura to see her flirting with women. She didn't even want to flirt with women. She wanted to flirt with Maura. That was why she didn't want to go out there.

"I guess so," she smiled down at her. "I guess you're right."

"Do you want to get dressed and go down? I think we'll have fun."

Jane nodded at her. She didn't let her eyes meditate again on her worries until Maura had gone to bathe.

* * *

Jane politely pulled out a chair at the poker table for Maura to sit at, then scooted her own chair close to Maura. A few of the saloon's many patrons eyed them curiously. Jane said, "Two whiskeys, please," to the waitress then grabbed her apron and amended quietly. "Wait, do you have … wine?" She pronounced the word awkwardly.

The waitress tried to suppress her smile as she nodded.

Jane finished, "Then one whiskey and a wine, please."

The waitress nodded and returned in a while with their drinks.

Maura watched intently as the Dealer dealt them into the game. Jane positioned herself so that she could look over Maura's shoulder.

"Okay, now," she whispered to Maura, "Just like I taught you."

Maura nodded demurely although Jane's hot breath on her neck made her internally squirm.

Jane realized quickly that Maura didn't need her assistance. But she found herself reluctant to move away from her comfortable position over Maura's shoulder. After her third whiskey, she decided it was definitely the best seat in the house.

Maura sipped her wine demurely, and enjoyed Jane's close proximity. She had never seen Jane really relax and have fun. The sight of Jane's goofy grin and the sound of her rich voice as she cracked jokes to the other players made Maura's heart melt. She allowed Jane to give her unneeded advice and she carefully feigned interest with well placed questions.

They played for hours, and after a slow start, Maura began to dominate the table.

Jane felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see cleavage in her face. She gazed beyond it to see the stunning face of a slim smiling blonde looking back at her.

"What happened to your shoulder, darlin?" the woman asked sweetly.

Jane tried to glance away from her intent stare.

"Farmer caught me chasing his chickens."

A flirty laugh erupted sweetly from the woman's mouth. "You're funny," she said as she leaned too close over Jane's shoulder. She looked at Jane's cards and asked, "Are you winning?"

Jane stared into the cleavage now pinioned in her face. "I am now." She replied cockily before catching herself.

The woman giggled again and her chest bounced lightly. Jane swallowed nervously.

"I mean, no. No, Ma-Maura is winning." She looked back to see Maura focusing on her cards intently.

The woman whispered, "Come by my room and see me, baby," into her ear before slipping away.

Jane took a deep breath before resuming her position beside Maura. She realized after a moment that Maura was ignoring her.

"Is everything okay?" Jane asked her. Their comfortable proximity was gone. Now a block of ice stood in its place.

' "Yep," she replied curtly. "I'll take two," she said to the Dealer.

Maura won more money than Jane, and she also drank more. Finally Maura looked at Jane and said, "You look tired, and I need to redress your arm."

Jane nodded and they left the table. The bar patrons and the remaining ladies gave them a heartfelt "good night" as they returned to their room.

* * *

Jane was more intoxicated than she realized. She tried to pull her shirt over her head, and tangled herself helplessly in the loose garment. Maura assisted her with gentle hands. When she had removed Jane's shirt, they both noticed with worry that her wound was bleeding. It had bled into her undershirt. Maura was intoxicated herself, and she didn't think to ask permission before pulling at Jane's undershirt.

Jane's arms jerked downward and she muttered, "Whoa, whoa".

Maura looked at her with confusion, "It's dirty, Jane. Undress so I can clean your shoulder and I'll get your sleeping shirt."

Jane meant to say more about not wanting to be topless in front of Maura, but couldn't get her words assembled before Maura had tugged the shirt off.

She nervously covered her breasts with her right arm and leaned back in the chair.

Maura gathered her supplies and suppressed her blush as she gently cleaned Jane's wound and redressed it.

Jane closed her eyes and nervously shifted her hips. She tried to think of bandits, of babies being born, of snakes, of everything in life that worried and scared her. She tried to think of anything that wasn't the incredibly soft way Maura was touching her bare skin.

Finally Maura said, "Hey," and she opened her eyes.

Maura was holding her sleep shirt open for her. She put her arms through one at a time and Maura pulled her hair through the neck. Maura's hands were heavy as the rubbed across her body.

Jane thought her torture was over, but then Maura began tugging at her boots. She was too drunk to object. Maura took her socks and rubbed her long feet briefly. She stood and pulled at Jane's arm. Jane stood, and she reached below Jane's shirt to her waistband. Finally Jane abruptly stopped her.

"Maura, don't," she said quietly.

Maura was standing close to her, facing her. Her small hands were closed on the button of Jane's pants. She looked up at Jane slowly.

Jane felt her body try to push her forward. She looked down at Maura's waiting lips. Her brain was already telling her how amazing it would feel. Her body was assuring her it needed to happen. Only the tiny voice of her conscious still screamed at her to stop.

Jane leaned away from her and cleared her throat. "I had fun tonight."

Maura exhaled heavily with disappointment. She turned away from Jane and began unlacing her dress. She slipped from her shoes and put her jewelry on the dresser. She shimmied her dress off and stood in front of the mirror in her slip and bloomers. After removing the clasps from her hair, she went to wash her face in the bath room.

Jane was crushed that Maura never replied. She stood frozen where Maura had left her.

Maura emerged from the bath room without her slip. She was naked except her bloomers. Jane tried not to gasp at the sight of her perfect breasts.

Maura innocently fumbled in her dresser for a gown, then pulled one out and made too elegant a display out of pulling it over her head and down her perfect figure.

They were standing across the room, openly staring at each other.

Jane eventually looked away from her. She climbed into her single bed silently, and Maura did the same.

"I can't believe you beat me," Jane said to Maura.

Maura ignored her.

Jane felt a tear roll down her cheek. She shook it off and forced herself to roll away from Maura. "Good night, Maura," she said, but fell asleep without ever hearing a reply.

* * *

Maura was alone in their room when she woke. She was grateful for the time to herself. She spent a couple of hours writing to her parents, mending her clothes, and bathing. It was well after noon when she finally got dressed and went into the saloon to look for Jane. She didn't find her in the saloon, so she continued to the stables.

Maura hadn't reached the large open bard doors when she heard Jane gasp. She raced ahead, worried Jane had hurt herself somehow. She stopped abruptly at the open door when she heard a second voice. She heard a high pitched rhythmic moaning.

Maura walked into the stables carefully. She felt as if she was having a nightmare. She pushed the door of their horses' stall open silently.

The slim blonde from the night before was laying on the table in the stall with her legs apart. Jane was standing between her raised knees with one arm wrapped around the blonde's waist and the other hidden between her thighs. Jane was shirtless, and her trousers and underwear had been pushed down to her knees. The blonde was hanging on Jane's shoulders and breathing raggedly as Jane thrust into her rapidly. The table knocked against the wooden wall with a loud thud.

Maura froze at the sight. She felt her heart seize in her chest. When she finally realized she should run, the blonde had opened her eyes and seen her. She covered her breasts self consciously and Jane looked back stupidly at the sight of Maura fleeing.

"Fuck!" Jane exclaimed.

* * *

Maura was in bed when Jane returned to their room that evening. Jane sat for a while reading Maura's book, hoping she would wake, but she never did.

The next day Jane was waiting for Maura to dress so that they could talk.

"I'm sorry you saw that," Jane announced as Maura exited the bathroom, freshly bathed and immaculately dressed.

"Saw what?" she asked coldly.

Jane toed the corner of the rug. "Saw me with that woman in the stables."

"Oh, that," Maura dead panned. "It's none of my business."

Jane walked up to her. "I … I was just brushing our horses and she …"

Maura looked up at her skeptically.

"She didn't force me, but … I didn't even want to."

Maura turned away. "You really don't have to tell me this."

Jane's face fell. "I just wanted to explain. I didn't even have a good time."

Maura snapped, "Then why did you do it?"

Jane wanted to wrap her arms around Maura. She wanted to hug her and say she was so sorry. She wanted to kiss her and drag her into bed. "Because …" She wanted to make tender love to Maura all day long and whisper to her about all the amazing things she had grown to feel for her. "Because …" She wanted to lock the door of their room and make Maura scream so loudly the Mistress would bang on it. "Because … I … I …" Because I can't have you. "I don't know."

Maura nodded. "Listen, I've got some things to do in town. I want to take my letters to the Pony Express and do a little shopping. You're not dressed to go, but I can go alone. If I'm safe anywhere, it's here in Salt Lake. Why don't you just have a little fun while I'm gone? I won't be long."

Jane wanted to go with her, but she could tell Maura hadn't invited her. She wanted to angrily protest and say that Maura had no right to go wandering off alone. But she only hung her head and watched when Maura walked out the door.

* * *

That evening Jane was watching Maura pretend to read her book.

"I think we can leave now. I'm not dehydrated anymore, I can make the desert. I'm not going to have control in this arm for months, so we can't wait for that. Let's just take extra supplies and get going. I'm bored of this place."

To her surprise, Maura didn't argue. She said, "That's fine, Jane. When do you want to leave?"

Jane still couldn't believe how cold Maura intended to be towards her. "Noon?"

"Then I'll be ready at noon." Maura replied curtly without looking up from her book.

Jane felt deeply dismayed that they had fallen all the way back to their initial relationship. She felt as helpless and awkward as she had on the train with Maura when they met. She wanted to talk to Maura but she didn't know how. She felt that Maura either hated her, or worse, that she was disappointed in her. Jane had never felt so out of control of her own demons.

She sat on her bed and sipped her flask until she felt fuzzy. Then she laid on her blankets and watched Maura reading until she fell asleep.


	6. Keep On Truckee

Jane had risen early to prepare for their departure. She lurked around in town, having an unusual amount of difficulty doing her shopping because of the unfriendly locals and her erratic state of mind. She was trying to be as meticulous and sharp as she had been on the first half of their trip, but since being literally shot and also metaphorically shooting herself in the foot with Maura she felt doubly wounded. She stalked away from a store which refused to serve her, only to enter one which claimed to not have what she needed. This went on for an hour before she returned to the saloon, red-faced and in need of a drink.

The friendly Mistress was able to help her assemble almost everything she lacked, except that she was short on bullets. The saloon was typically empty before noon, so there were no patrons from which to buy or trade ammunition. The Mistress kept very little in stock herself. Jane didn't think she would be participating in any shootouts, but without the ability to carry enough meat, they would depend on her expert hunting skills for their dinner. She knew her shooting would be slightly off, so she had intended to carry extra ammunition. Without the ability to get more bullets, she bought enough meat to get them across the desert, knowing any more would spoil on the long trip.

If they had remained on the wagon train, their many oxen wold keep them fed even in the direst of situations. But on two horses, dragging oxen along would be a larger hassle, and they were especially hard to feed and shelter on the second half of the trip. Jane knew that bringing along oxen would most certainly mean having to endure their painful death, for they would surely die of thirst in the desert or starve in the mountains. She decided at last that she was being over careful, and packed their loads with the ammunition she had acquired and the small store of salted meat.

Maura had sent her things out earlier with Jane to be packed, she followed at noon and waited in front of the saloon. She was surprised when Jane rode up leading their second horse, saddled with a pack of her own. She had thought they would ride the same horse again, but she realized with a pang of hurt that Jane wanted her to take the second horse instead. She wasn't fully confident in her riding skills, but she refused to show hesitation and climbed into the saddle haughtily.

Jane held the reins while Maura shimmied her lovely curves on to her horse. She was dressed in her little olive pants, a beige buttoning shirt and her high brown boots. Jane smiled to think how Maura had first distrusted the garment. When Maura was seated calmly, Jane looked back to the merry crowd who had assembled for their departure. A battalion of gorgeous handkerchief-waving women swooned when she wagged her wounded arm at them, and blushed sheepishly as they nodded to Maura as well. She returned their manners with a polite nod, but she wasn't sad to see them go.

* * *

They didn't speak until they made camp at evening. Jane formally explained all their new camping gear to Maura. The journey ahead would be much more pain staking and their gear was complicated. Maura learned quickly how to fasten the many wind proof buckles and how to tie the water proof flaps. Jane showed her how the fur lining buttoned into their bedrolls. Their sweet, gentle evening around their camp fire would now be replaced by shivering in their canvas tent, hoping to get some rest between the endless hours of marching through scorching hot days and windy nights.

"I like your jacket," Jane told her rigidly. "Is that new?"

Maura nodded. She was silent for a moment but Jane's contritely wounded expression finally moved her to say, "The last one wasn't very warm. This is warmer. I sold my dresses and heels and got pants and boots. You didn't say so, but I assumed it would be easier."

"It will be," Jane replied, happy Maura had spoken to her. "You look nice."

Maura looked up at her blankly, so she continued, "I've had this old thing for years," she indicated her worn leather jacket. "It was my dads."

Maura's face softened. For a moment she eyed Jane lovingly, then looked into the fire and replied, "You look handsome in it."

Jane suppressed her blush and said, "We have salted meat for as long as it lasts, after that I'll hunt. Game might get thin in the Sierras, we should conserve energy and resources carefully, okay?"

Maura nodded at her complacently. "If you want to rest in the tent, I'll get you when dinner is ready."

Jane did need to rest. "I feel fine. I think I'm going to take a little walk, relieve myself, meditate or something."

Maura gave her a worried expression. "I need to change your dressing," she whined, really wishing Jane wouldn't wander off alone.

"After dinner," Jane dismissed her.

When Jane was out of Maura's sight, she sat down on a rock and pulled her flask from her jacket pocket. Dinner wouldn't be ready for half an hour, and she just wanted the time away from Maura. She had felt such an intense desire to talk to her, to appeal to her, then to antagonize her and pick a fight when Maura ignored her. All her different feelings for Maura had tangled themselves in her stomach, and she drank them away thirstily. She watched Maura from her evening perch, sipping her flask and batting down lusty fantasies until she saw Maura begin to look into the shadows anxiously for her. Then she put her flask away and walked back to camp aloofly.

"Just in time," Maura said as she returned. Maura immediately noticed the glassy look in her eyes. She opened her mouth to ask if Jane had been drinking, but she stopped herself.

"It smells good," Jane said quietly.

When they had settled beside the fire to eat, Maura asked her, "Will we sleep beside the fire? It's getting cold out."

"We'll blanket the horses, then tie our packs behind the tent so the wind doesn't snag them. Your bed roll will go in the tent, I'll sleep outside to keep an eye out for danger."

Maura's face rose to meet hers, "Do you think you're well enough for that? You should rest. I can tell you're still tired."

Jane stared into the fire a moment before asking tersely, "Did I ask for your opinion?"

"Did I save your life for nothing?" Maura returned openly surprised.

Jane abruptly stood. "I'm in command here, Miss Isles, and I'd thank you to remember that. My arm will be fine until the morning. Do your chores, and go to bed."

Maura hung her head. She was amazed to find that she felt more hurt than angry. She finally shrugged her shoulders and they ceased conversation.

Maura put away dinner while Jane prepared their horses for night. Jane packed their camp and tied it down while Maura changed into her bed clothes and snuggled into her bed roll in the tent Jane had pitched for her. She stuck her sunny head out of the flaps and looked at Jane, who was stoically smoking a cigarette and sipping her flask with her hat over her eyes. She had intended to tell Jane good night, but instead she said, "Don't drink yourself to sleep, Miss Rizzoli."

Jane scowled but didn't raise her face. She said, "For the last time, Miss Isles, I do not harken to your silliness. Go to bed."

* * *

Their trek across the desert took a day longer than Jane planned. She was trying to travel as quickly as she had before, but she was easily fatigued by the oppressive heat. She was also not resting well shivering outside their tent. On their last night in the desert, Maura begged her to sleep in the tent.

"At least come in here while I change your bandage. I'm tired of watching sand blow into your wound as I'm wrapping it," she demanded.

Jane obliged her with a huff.

As Maura wrapped the gauze around Jane's exposed shoulder, she employed a gentle tone on her, "Jane, please, just sleep in here. You have bags under your eyes and you look exhausted. Why don't you want to sleep in here? Are you that mad at me?"

Jane glanced away. "I'm not the one who is mad."

Maura scrutinized her face. "Then why are you punishing me?"

"I'm not, I just don't want to be around someone who is mad at me."

"I'm not …" Maura lied badly, "I'm not mad."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just finish up, I want to sleep."

"Then sleep in here," Maura whined. "Look," she added, "Your bedroll is unpacked. And I warmed it by the fire. Just lay down for a little while."

"If you're not mad, then why are you bossing me around so much?"

"I'm not bossing you around, Jane, I'm just trying to take care of you."

"Well, you're being mean. And I'd rather let my damn arm fall off than be lectured and tucked into bed like a baby."

Maura softened.

Jane huffed and started to rise to leave, but Maura caught her with a gentle hand on her thigh. It was the first time Maura had touched her since trying to kiss her at the saloon. Jane tried to hide her reaction, but Maura saw in her eyes how she longed to be comfortingly touched by Maura. Maura ran her fingers softly back and forth across Jane's tight pants. Jane was wordlessly pouting.

"I'm sorry I was bossy. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm worried about you because I care and because we can't make this journey if you're unwell. Please," she used her familiar, intimate tone for Jane, "Please stay with me tonight."

Jane looked away from her and sighed. "I'm sorry, I have to keep guard outside."

Maura frowned as Jane left and tried not to cry as she snuggled into her warm bedroll.

Soon Jane opened the tent's flaps and mumbled, "I decided to sleep in here," as she kicked off her boots and tumbled into her bedroll.

Maura hid her smile with her blanket and whispered, "Good night, Jane," after she thought Jane was asleep.

"Good night, Maura," Jane whispered back.

* * *

They clambered from the desert the next afternoon, skin burned and lips chapped. Maura restrained her desire to be overly fussy towards Jane, but did convince Jane to allow her to rub some lotion on her sun burned face and arms. She absolutely refused the lip balm Maura tried to smear on her.

She had regained very little strength in her arm. The dexterity in her hand and the general speed of her muscles was intact, but she lacked the strength to execute most tasks, even holding up a gun. Luckily she had wounded her submissive arm, but many of her chores required the use of either strength or two hands. At first she denied her inability to do things, then she got angry and cursed at herself. Maura watched helplessly, also feeling inadequate for not knowing how to heal Jane. She knew that trying to help Jane would embarrass her, so she stood back pretending to be preoccupied while Jane fumbled with one thing after another.

"Damn it!" Jane shouted.

Maura gasped at the sound of gunfire. She raced away from camp, towards Jane. She found Jane kneeling over a doe who was ceasing to cry and heave its small chest. Jane was gripping her bloody knife over its slit throat. She stroked its head softly as it died. Maura watched with gut wrenching sadness.

Jane had heard her run up and she said quietly over her shoulder, "I missed. I should've hit her forehead, but I got her right in the chest."

Maura walked up behind her and put a small hand on her shoulder. "It's okay."

Jane shook her hand off, "It's not okay. I hurt her. She was scared when she died."

"You did all you could do for her, Jane."

"I blew a hole in her lung and she drowned in her own blood."

"You didn't-" Maura started but Jane pushed her away again and she stumbled backwards.

They were silent for a long time. Eventually Jane said, "Get the shovel. I want to respectfully bury her."

"Oh, Jane," Maura started and checked her sympathetic tone, "We have to eat her. We're out of meat. If we don't eat, you could get weaker. I know … this was hard, but we need meat. Go back to camp, I'll take care of her. Really. Give me your knife," Maura held out her little hand timidly.

Jane looked up at her, and tears lined her eyes. "You can eat the meat we have left, but I don't need anything. Get the shovel so I can bury her."

Maura reached down to touch Jane's face, "Give me your knife and go back to camp."

Jane shook Maura's hand off her cheek, but finally released her tightly held knife into Maura's waiting palm.

* * *

The next evening they unpacked their horses and Jane asked, "Do you want to learn how to hunt?"

Maura nodded immediately, and listened patiently to Jane's many lessons and instructions. They spent a while in the woods lightly practicing. Jane shot a rabbit for their dinner, and Maura prepared it back at their camp while Jane tended their horses.

They had camped along the Humboldt River all week. Jane should have been regaining her strength, but her inability to hunt enough food to keep them well fed was diminishing her pride and her body's ability to heal. Maura was eager to learn to shoot, and surprisingly handy with a weapon, but Jane hesitated to waste much ammunition teaching her. The small cache of bullets she had brought along was rapidly diminishing due to her poor aim and Maura's target practice.

* * *

Maura had coaxed Jane into sleeping in her bedroll in the tent. She found herself at a daily inability to help or comfort Jane in any way, and that seemed to cause her the worst anxiety she had ever felt. She often lay awake and wondered why she felt more anxious with Jane simply hurt than when Jane was seriously wounded. There was just something about seeing the strong, confident, downright cocky woman she had grown to love fumbling with every little task. The awkward helplessness and self-hatred Maura routinely saw in Jane's eyes was breaking her heart.

She convinced Jane the least she could do for her health was sleep well, but in the end she didn't know if it was for Jane or herself she had done it. Although she had less and less words to speak to Jane, her need to be physically close to Jane grew more and more urgent.

"Stop it. Maura, stop," Jane groaned but she didn't pull away.

Maura continued to rub the pink lotion up and down Jane's sun burned arms.

Jane huffed but remained submissively seated. Maura knelt behind her and rubbed the cool lotion across her shoulders and down her back. Jane's shirt was pulled over her chest and around her elbows so that Maura could redress her shoulder. She had taken advantage of Jane's fatigue by using the opportunity to apply lotion to Jane's exposed warm skin. They had hiked a long way the last few days, and the Humboldt had reflected the sunlight onto their faces as they struggled along in the heat.

Jane stifled a moan when Maura gripped her rigid shoulders and squeezed them.

"Stop resisting, Jane. I'm not going to seduce you. Please, relax. You're worrying me."

Jane exhaled carefully and let some of the tension seep from her posture.

Maura eagerly accepted the gesture and continued to rub her tense shoulders.

Jane spoke without looking up at Maura, "What did you mean by you're not going to seduce me?"

Maura inhaled. "I just meant I'm not … I'm not asking you for sex, I'm just helping you relax."

Some of the tension flooded back to Jane's neck. "What do you mean?"

Maura sighed, "It was an innocent comment, Jane," she replied dismissively.

"Is that what you're mad about?"

Maura blanched. "I told you I'm not mad."

"Now who's lying?" Jane asked sarcastically.

"I'm not mad. I thought we had grown close, you didn't agree. I wanted to kiss, you wanted to take that cheeky strumpet for a ride in the stables. We had a simple disagreement. I realized I was wrong," she took a well placed breath, "to think you had more taste than that. I'm not mad."

Jane was silent with her head hung down. Maura had begun to subconsciously dig her fingernails into the skin of Jane's shoulders, but it felt good.

"If anything, I'm mad that you won't eat enough at dinner or rest well enough."

Jane sighed raggedly. "We're running low on food," she admitted finally.

"I know, Jane. I can tell," she rubbed Jane's back comfortingly, "But you have to eat."

Jane stood and pulled her shirt over her head and down her back.

"Let me get the lip balm," Maura murmured and Jane shook her head "no".

Maura gripped her forearm, "Lay down with me and let me rub your back."

Jane shook her head "no".

Maura's eyes lined with tears.

"Maura," Jane started sadly, "Patrick threatened to kill me if I seduced you."

Maura rolled her eyes, "That's ridiculous. You know he meant not to force me, and you're not seducing me."

Jane looked at her harshly, but her expression faded to helplessness.

"But I am seducing you, Maura. We're out here alone together, and you're looking at me and seeing this heroic person who is so good at everything and so popular, but it's a mirage. I'm terrible at everything that matters and I'm hated by all of worth. You see all these pretty girls hanging on me and it makes me look so attractive, but they're prostitutes and I'm a social outcast. I'm not the kind of person you need to be with, not in bed and not in life. And I don't even know what to do with you. We may have a nice little Romantic thing going out here in the wilderness, alone together and away from our demons, but I promise you, Maura, I promise you, if we ever make it to California, you'll realize within days what a no-account loser I am."

Maura shook her head a few times during Jane's speech. She wanted to say, "That's not true! None of that was true!" but she didn't. She only cried and buried her face against Jane's chest. Jane accepted her with gentle arms around her shoulders.

Jane finally murmured, "I'm sorry," against her hair.

Maura sniffled raggedly and pulled away from her. "Fine. I don't care what you do. Starve yourself to death, leave yourself out to dry, drown yourself in the damn Humbolte, just don't come whimpering to me when you're half dead again."

"Maura," Jane said sadly as she pulled away and stalked into her tent.

* * *

The next evening Jane unpacked her bed roll and laid it in the tent. Maura had ignored her all day. They went fishing and Maura caught two large fish. Jane tangled herself in her line and angrily threw her rod into the river.

"Wow, that was a great dinner," Jane said awkwardly. "I'm stuffed." She added. Maura ignored her. "Well, let's pack up, I'm ready to get some sleep in the tent."

Maura wordlessly washed their dinnerware and put it away while Jane waited nervously on her bedroll. When Maura finally entered the tent, she went directly to her bedroll and laid down without changing clothes.

Jane turned to face her, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. Maura, it's not that I don't like you … I think I … sometimes I think I …"

She was silent so long Maura almost turned to face her.

"I just don't want to hurt you. You like me, and not many people do. Actually, no one does. You're … probably the only friend I've ever had. You're the only woman besides my mother who I didn't seduce and run away from. I really like you a lot, so I don't want to regret any choices with you. And I'm not sure Patrick would condone it."

"He isn't my master, Jane," Maura replied irritably, "And neither are you."

"I know," Jane replied apologetically.

"I'm twenty one years old. You treat me like a little girl."

"Well, you treat me like a Consumption patient."

Maura huffed at her. "Great pep talk, Jane. Just leave me alone."

"My pleasure!" Jane replied as she tried to roll over but winced instead.

Maura heard her wince and wanted to check her shoulder.

They lay awake a while immensely regretting the things they had said, then they fell asleep in unison, wishing they were laying in each others arms.

* * *

The next day they reached the rushing Truckee River, and traveled along it cautiously. The Truckee was a swift, narrow, powerful river which led into the Sierra Nevadas. They had a few days journey along the Truckee and then two weeks over the mountains. They were less than three weeks from their journey's end at Sutter's Fort.

Jane's wound had healed, but her shoulder was still without strength. With Maura's help she had been able to feed them enough to keep them going. But each knew the mountains would further strain their limited ability to find food. Maura was not aware how few bullets remained. Jane had kept from her the ruinous detail because she feared the amount of stress Maura was already under. In ways she was almost grateful Maura was angry with her, it at least gave her something to think about other than their dismal situation. Jane worried about Maura, but the anxiety that ate at her gut was more desperate. Each shot they fired diminished their ability to keep hunting and therefor survive.

Jane had loaded the remaining bullets into their respective weapons. Her rifle was loaded with four more bullets in her belt. Her revolver was on her belt with two bullets remaining. Her pistol was in the little pocket Maura sewed into her jacket to safely carry it, and it had a full chamber of six. There was one box of pistol ammunition in her pack. Jane's shotgun was carefully placed on the side of Maura's horse for emergencies. It held only one shot. Jane knew the pistol Maura carried held their only real hope of not starving in the remaining few weeks.

* * *

"Hey," Jane shouted sharply. "Get away from the river!"

She had shouted over the sound of the rushing water, but Maura took offense to her tone. "I'm fine!" she yelled back.

"I said," Jane continued to shout as she reached for her jacket, "To get away from the water!"

"And I said," Maura turned back quickly to wave off her hand, "I'm fine!"

"Stop arguing!" Jane shouted angrily.

"You started it!" Maura returned as she tangled her arm against Jane's and pushed back.

"Get away," Jane muttered through her gritted teeth as she pulled Maura's arm, "from the-"

"No!" Maura snapped, and she snatched her arm away.

Jane tried to clutch her, but she fell. Her little hand on the reins caused her horse to tumble in with her. The bewildered horse rolled towards her, and for one horrifying moment Jane thought the horse might fall on her. Then the terrified horse shook the pack off her with a splash and erratically bolted from the water, leaving Maura splashing in the current and trying to grasp the river bank. Jane had gone in directly after her, and refused to let go of her. They tumbled haplessly downstream about fifty feet before Jane drug them on shore. She released Maura on the sandy riverbank and swam back to snatch Maura's pack as it floated by.

When Jane returned Maura was whimpering, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Jane huffed at her.

"No, it's not. That was stupid of me. Jane, I'm really sorry," she was repeating deliriously.

"Stop!" Jane commanded harshly. She was furiously searching Maura's pack. When her hand closed on the pistol ammunition she sighed with relief. She rapidly tied the pack back together and commanded, "Now, hurry, let's go."

Maura clambered alongside her until they reached the horses. Jane hurriedly resituated the pack on her horse and Maura tried to climb in her saddle but Jane stopped her.

"No, on my horse with me," Maura was so confused, but she climbed into Jane's saddled with her, still muttering, "I'm sorry, Jane. I'm so sorry. I should have listened to you."

"Stop talking," Jane silenced her as she hurried to get them moving into the woods.

Maura started to shiver immediately. After a while she said, "Jane?"

"I know," Jane replied. "We're finding a campsite now. We'll have a fire in a second, don't worry."

Maura wondered how Jane knew she was cold. She wondered why Jane was acting so strange. She had thought Jane was really angry at her, but she realized Jane was scared. She clung to Jane's chest as they rode along in growing fear.

Finally Jane exclaimed, "Thank you, Christ!"

Maura looked up to see an opening in the rockface. Jane had found a cave.

Jane yanked Maura from the saddle, and Maura's body felt heavy.

* * *

"Sit down," she said as she released Maura. Maura didn't have a choice, she melted onto the stone floor of the cave.

Jane quickly tied their horses and reached into her dry pack for her clothes. Maura was yawning when Jane sat down beside her and started yanking at her jacket.

"What're you doing?" Maura asked weakly.

"Hey," Jane said to her harshly, "Look at me."

Maura looked up at her. Her face was white with terror.

"Let me undress you. You need to change into dry clothes."

Maura let Jane snatch her clothes off until she sat shivering naked on the cool stone. Jane hurried to pull one of her shirts over Maura's head and some of her long underwear up Maura's little legs. She was trying to get socks on Maura's feet when her hands started shaking too badly. Maura noticed with confusion and finished tugging the socks on her feet.

Jane had begun to peel her own soaked clothes off, and Maura helped as best as she could. Finally Jane was naked, and Maura looked on with interest as Jane struggled to get dry clothes onto her wet body. Finally she was dressed again, and Maura sat shivering and toiling with Jane's socks.

Jane rose heavily and said, "Wait here. Stay awake."

Maura felt like she waited for a long time for Jane to return. She was laying with her legs curled beneath her and her arms under her head, shivering and chattering her teeth.

"Wake up!" Jane snapped at her when she returned with her arms full of firewood.

Maura struggled to raise her head.

Jane yanked her upright and propped her against the dry pack.

Maura watched drowsily as Jane built a fire and pulled a blanket from her pack.

She sat next to Maura and wrapped her arm and the blanket around her shoulder.

Maura's teeth were chatting and she yawned and laid her head on Jane's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," she muttered sleepily.

"Then listen to me now, Maura. Wake up."

Jane clasped Maura's arm and pulled Maura into her lap. She began to rub Maura's back and sides heavily. Maura's head fell against her own and Jane kissed her cheek.

Jane kept rubbing Maura's back and talking to her until she started to breathe regularly again. She kept telling her to wake up until Maura was talking to her again. She kept kissing Maura's cheek lightly until Maura turned her face to look at her and smile.

"You're not mad at me?" Maura asked in a small, genuinely happy voice.

Jane laughed through her panic. "Of course not, silly girl. Put your arms around me."

Maura obliged her. She snuggled against Jane's shoulders. Jane continued to rub her back and sides. Soon she began to heavily rub Maura's outer thighs.

"That feels good," Maura finally said.

Jane laughed again. "Are you waking up?"

"What?" Maura asked, taking a big breath and leaning up.

"Oh, thank Christ," Jane said when she saw Maura's face. Her eyes had life in them again, her lips had turned peach from the deep blue they had been when Jane brought her in the cave.

The fire had grown into a hot blaze and it warmed them more and more as they sat quietly, Maura still seated in Jane's lap and Jane still stroking her body heavily.

"Can you feel your hands and feet?"

"What? Of course," Maura replied.

"They were blue a while ago."

"What?" Maura asked, and she suddenly realized she had lost time. What happened? They were walking by the river, they started to argue, she pulled away from Jane, and she … fell into the water with her horse.

"You're okay. I'm okay. The horses are okay. Some entity was smiling on us because we found this cave. If we were out there in the wind, I don't know if …" Jane kissed Maura's cheek again lightly.

Maura wrapped her arms tightly around Jane's neck. "You saved me again."

Jane sighed, "For now. But we need to stay with this fire a long time. If you feel okay, I need to take care of your horse. She's wet and cold, too. But I need you to promise me you won't go to sleep."

Maura looked up at her. She didn't want to let her go. She wanted to stay in Jane's lap with her arms around Jane's shoulders all night, for the rest of her life.

"I promise," she replied quietly as she slid off Jane's thighs.

She watched Jane drying their horse with a blanket and brushing her. When Jane had secured the horses, she got her bedroll and joined Maura by the fire.

"Do you want to have a dry snack?"

"No, just rest with me."

"Okay, drink some water."

Jane spread out her bedroll to warm it and finally motioned for Maura to climb in.

"Where will you sleep?"

"We're not going to sleep," Jane said wearily. "Get in."

Maura snuggled down in the fur lined bedroll and gasped when Jane settled in with her.

Her arms went up instinctively around Jane's neck. Her small hands warmed themselves by pressing against Jane's shoulders.

Jane encouraged Maura to cuddle to her. She settled slowly beside Maura with their legs intertwined. She began to rub Maura's back below the large shirt she had dressed her in.

"What are we doing?" Maura blushed deeply.

"Staying alive," Jane replied quietly.

"Oh," Maura gasped when Jane's knee separated her thighs.

"Rub my back," Jane told her softly.

Maura drug her fingertips down Jane's back heavily. She gingerly pulled Jane's shirt hem until her small hands could swim under the fabric to find Jane's soft skin. She felt her chest warm at the realization of how smooth Jane's skin was.

Jane's breath came out hotter and hotter Maura's neck until she flinched involuntarily at the heat and moisture near her hear. Her fingernails began to snag lightly against Jane's dark skin.

Jane tried to keep her hips out of the picture, but soon she was laying on top of Maura with her full weight. The feel of Maura clawing at her back was incredible, it brought her almost all the way back to life.

Maura clung to her and whimpered for more attention. Jane was petting her face, pushing her hair away from her eyes.

"Look at me," Jane spoke to her.

Her eyes were still heavily lidded.

"Maura, can you feel me?" Maura's fingernails dug into her skin in response.

Jane laughed. "Very good. Hey, tell me something nerdy. Tell me something annoying. Boss me around."

Maura tried to focus on Jane's words.

"Argue with me, snap at me, cuss at me. Call me a vagabond again, that was funny." Jane leaned down and kissed her lips, "Remember when that man begged me for money and I called him a vagabond and you slapped me and said I was the vagabond? Remember? Oh, you hated me. Hate me again, Maura. Get mad and slap me."

She kissed Maura's lips again softly.

Maura raised into her kiss. "Vagabond."

Jane grinned at her and sighed. "That's right, baby. Come all the way back to me."

Maura spread her hips and let Jane's thigh settle there. She raised her lips again for Jane to kiss.

Jane obliged her with a slightly longer kiss.

She began to rub Jane's back in long strokes. Soon her eyes opened fully and she raised her face again for a kiss.

Jane tried to move the kiss to her cheek, but Maura outsmarted her by turning her face.

Maura giggled.

"I think I found the key here," Jane murmured to her. "This woman is mad for kisses."

Maura giggled again. "Maybe you're Prince Charming and you woke me from my slumber with a kiss."

Jane rolled her eyes. "More like a black knight."

Maura raised to kiss her lips. "Thank you for saving me."

Jane returned the kiss immediately. "Thank you for not drowning. I would have lost some money on that."

Maura's eyes widened and she dug her fingernails into Jane's back.

Jane winced and replied, "Kidding. I'm kidding."

Maura looked up into Jane's eyes and tried to kiss her again. Jane pulled away slowly.

"If you're warm again, we should probably … " she looked up but there was nothing to pretend they needed to do. Their horses were fine. "Get some food in us."

Maura laced her arms around Jane's neck. "For once, please just get some rest."

"No, you shouldn't sleep. You could -"

"I'm fine now, Jane. Actually, I'm hot. Can you -"

"Of course," Jane replied as she unpinned Maura's body from beneath her own. Maura readjusted to wrap her arms around Jane and put her back to the fire.

"Let me just get you a snack. We'll both have a potato, okay?"

"You'll have one, too?" Maura asked her carefully.

"Yeah," Jane promised, "Let's warm these potatoes and eat them. Then we'll sleep okay?"

"Here together?" Maura demanded.

"Yeah, your bed roll is wet. Actually, let me just unpack your things to dry."

"No," Maura protested.

"Yes," Jane replied. "While the potatoes warm. So we can leave in the morning."

"I wish we could stay in this cave. I like it here."

Jane didn't want to tell Maura that the already frenzied journey they needed to make across the mountains was now tripled in importance. Maura would likely wake with a cough, and if she grew sick she would be ill too soon to finish the trip. Jane prayed with all her heart that Maura would wake feeling fine.

Soon Jane had arranged the contents of Maura's pack safely around the fire. She checked again on Maura's blanketed horse. Then she prepared their potatoes and sat down with Maura. They ate quickly and Jane pushed their bowls away and climbed in the bedroll with Maura.

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders again. She kissed Jane's neck.

"Jane?"

"Let's get some sleep, honey."

"No, I want you to answer me."

Jane sighed and nestled Maura closer to her warm body. "Okay."

"I'm sorry I argued with you today. I'm sorry I fell in the river."

Jane laughed ironically. "I really don't care. I'm not mad at you, Maura. I wasn't mad when it happened. I wish I hadn't been so harsh. I really was yelling over the river, not at you. And then I tried to snatch you. I shouldn't have. We can't argue anymore. We have to listen and be good for each other from now on. We've got two more weeks, we can make it if we work together."

Maura kissed her neck. "I love you, Jane."

Jane felt her pelvis seize. "I …"

"You don't have to say it. I know you only kissed me tonight because you wanted to warm me up. I know you're only laying here because you think I'm going to get sick. I know you don't love me back. It's okay. I just want you to know how much I love you."

Jane swallowed hard. She tried to talk but tears ran down her face. "Maura, I-"

"You don't have to apologize, Jane. It's okay."

Jane finally wrapped her arms around Maura and hugged her tightly.

"Listen," she whispered to her. "Are you listening?"

Maura nodded against her chest.

"I'll tell you I love you when the trip is finished. You're not allowed to give up until then, okay? No matter what happens to us, no matter what we face from here on out, you can't give up. And if you don't, I'll tell you I love you and I'll kiss you all night. Okay?"

Maura was quiet before answering, "You just want to trick me."

"Maura, you know that's not true."

"You're going to leave me when we get to California. So what will it matter?"

"Do you want to know if I love you or not?"

Maura melted against her. She kissed the side of her face and yawned. "I know you love me. I saw you the look in your eyes when you dragged me out of the river today."

Jane kissed her back on the side of her forehead.

"Well, that's my favorite pistol you're carrying."

Maura giggled into her neck lightly. "Smart-ass."

"Go to sleep," Jane said to her softly, "I'll be here with you all night."

Maura opened her mouth to reply, but yawned instead and fell asleep on Jane's shoulder.


	7. Dangerous Pray

Maura felt Jane kissing her cheek and whispering to her, "I'll be back soon." She had stirred during the night to Jane checking her for a fever. She seemed to fall in and out of sleep, gaining and losing body heat, until finally she smelled something delicious and opened her eyes to see Jane kneeling over the fire. She was stirring their skillet and the smell of roasting meat filled the cave.

Jane glanced at her, "Good morning, beautiful," she said warmly.

Maura leaned up from Jane's bedroll and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's after noon, but I wanted you to sleep. How do you feel?"

Maura felt strange, but she hoped it would abide. "Hungry. What's cooking?"

Jane suppressed a proud smile, "Steak and eggs."

Maura cocked her head curiously to the side. "How?"

Jane turned back to stir their eggs again. "I had luck hunting. I found a bird's nest and shot two bighorn sheep."

"That's amazing," she returned reverently.

Jane tried not to smile proudly as she cleared her throat. "We have enough salt to pack all the meat. Looks like we'll be set for at least a few days."

Maura tried to crawl from the warm bed roll, but Jane turned back and motioned for her to stop.

"A few days? That will last a week or more," she returned as she slipped her bare legs back beneath the cover.

"Well," Jane had put her steak and eggs onto a plate and handed it to her. "We'll be eating more as we climb. We'll need the energy. And you could easily get sick in the next few days, so we should take precautions wherever we can."

Maura took the plate Jane handed her and waited for Jane to join her. When Jane turned back to the cooking absently she asked, "Eat with me?" and Jane made herself a plate and accompanied her beside the fire.

Maura leaned her shoulder against Jane's. "This is amazing, Jane. It tastes incredible and I can't believe you shot two sheep. I'm so proud of you. When we're finished, I want to help clean up and salt the meat."

"I already did everything, actually. We're ready to go whenever you're dressed."

"Oh," Maura said quietly.

"What?" Jane asked her, "Do you feel okay?"

Maura was silent for a moment, pushing her eggs around her plate. "I just thought we might rest a few days. Maybe enjoy this cave a while longer. I had an amazing time with you last night," she let her idle hand drop to Jane's thigh and caress it carefully.

Jane stared at her boots and said, "I'm just worried because it's so cold out and the sky is really gray. We're on the mountains now, if it snows we'll be trapped here. We need to go up and down as quickly as possible. It'll only take two weeks, maybe less if we're fast. I know you're tired, but if we wait here and … and you do get sick … we wouldn't have any option but to stay here," she took a steady breath, "all winter. And I don't think we would survive."

"Oh," Maura replied. She gave Jane's explanation careful consideration before continuing, "But what if we leave and we both get sick? Maybe we should stay, just a few days, and recover fully before starting again."

Jane took Maura's plate and left her side. Maura tried to follow her and Jane said, "I'll wash these. All you need to do is get dressed. I put some extra clothes out for you, just to keep you extra warm."

Maura looked beside her to find that Jane had neatly folded her clothes for her to wear. A pair of Jane's long underwear and wool socks accompanied her tasteful blouse and pants. She frowned at the clothes, but pulled them on dutifully. Afterward she looked and felt like a child in her snow outfit, oddly puffed out and already cranky.

Jane laughed at her and pulled her into an easy hug, "Hey."

Maura couldn't even close her arms around Jane's waist.

"I can't ride like this, Jane," she whined.

"Yes, you can. You're riding with me on my horse."

Maura frowned.

Jane was surprised. "I thought that would make you happy, Maura. You love inadvertently pressing your breasts against me."

Maura blushed. "I … don't … press my …" she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Jane smirked, "This sounds a lot like arguing," she teased.

"I'm not … arguing," Maura started but realized she was and stopped.

Finally they were together on Jane's horse. Maura wrapped her arms as tightly around Jane's waist as her many layers of bundling would allow.

"Did you say you had a nice time last night?" Maura whispered in her ear.

"I…" Jane stammered at Maura's hot breath against her sensitive skin. "I was w-worried about you. I'm really glad you feel good. I … did like … I liked … sharing what we … when we spent time … you know, we just did what we had to do but … there was also … because I l-l-like you as a … a good friend."

Maura rolled her eyes and laid her head on Jane's back. "Jane, just stop. It's fine."

Jane sighed with relief and leaned back into Maura's embrace. Maura tightened her arms.

* * *

Jane didn't let Maura help with their chores for the next two days. She was forced to sit and wait while Jane did literally everything for her. She and Jane were both surprised at Jane's renewed energy. She seemed to grow stronger each day, but Maura did not. No matter how much sheep steak, rice, or beans Jane insisted that Maura eat, or how much rest or sleep she got, the color drained continually from her cheeks until, on the forth evening after she had fallen into the Truckee River, Maura coughed.

Jane turned and looked at her with big eyes.

Maura had been suppressing her heaving chest for days. She had been ignoring the scratchy feeling in her throat, her general disinterest in food, and her weakening body. She wanted so badly not to disappoint Jane.

"Maura, did you just cough?"

Maura shook her head from side to side, "I'm only sleepy."

Jane stared at her. "Okay. Let's sleep together in the tent tonight."

Maura faked a smile. "Wonderful," she said softly and her chest shook again. She swallowed the cough weakly.

Jane put down the horse brush and walked to Maura. "Come on," she said softly as she pulled Maura into the tent.

Jane started peeling off Maura's many layers.

"I'm not getting sick, Jane," Maura told her assuredly. "I'm coughing because the air is cold up here."

Jane nodded and tugged at her long shirt. Maura obediently lifted her arms and let herself be undressed. Eventually Jane knelt in front of her to pull at her pants. When she had disrobed Maura to her bloomers and undershirt, she leaned her face against Maura's soft stomach. Maura reached down to lace her fingers comfortingly in Jane's hair. Jane pushed her shirt up and kissed her navel.

"I'm fine, Jane," she tried again.

For days Jane had prayed continually that the color would return to Maura's cheeks.

Maura took Jane's face and lifted it to look up at her, "Jane, I may have a little cough, but I'll be rid of it in a few days."

Jane nodded at her again sadly.

"I'll pass a little mucus and be back to perfect health. Probably before we even get to the top."

Jane nodded again and rose to stand in front of her. Maura started pulling at her clothes, and Jane allowed her. But after removing only two shirts from Jane's tall figure she was breathing heavily. Jane squeezed her side reassuringly. "Lay down, I'll join you."

Maura watched from her bedroll as Jane slowly undressed to her bottom layer and crawled under the blankets with her.

They lay together in tense silence punctuated only by Maura's raspy gasps for breath. Maura fell asleep first, leaving Jane to lay awake for hours listening to Maura's chest grow heavier and heavier. By morning she felt that she had prayed to every available deity.

* * *

The next day Maura woke coughing and coughed frequently all day. Her attempts to suppress her sickness were no longer believable. Jane felt every cough and every tremble against her back. She reached back often to rub or pat Maura's thigh. By evening she had said, "You're doing great," over her should about a million times.

The next day was much worse, Maura barely had the strength to grip her waist. Her eyes began to display an exhausted expression, and her body was continually wracked with coughs until it ached and she whimpered at the touch of everything except Jane's body.

Jane lay at night, with Maura curled against her shivering and sweating, plagued by frantic, insane thoughts about what might happen to them.

Finally they reached the top of the mountains. It was late in the evening. Jane should have stopped to make camp hours previous, but Maura was barely conscious and she was too afraid to stop. She just wanted to keep traveling, to travel without stopping until she could tuck Maura into a warm bed.

In the distance Jane saw a large geometric shadow. She strained her eyes until she could make out the shape of a cabin. Her heart leapt in her breast. The lake spread out before her, and at the bottom of a hill she saw a small cabin had been built by those hoping to evade the constantly freezing temperatures.

She approached the cabin with wide, elated eyes. She hurried to pull Maura down from the horse and carry her inside. She was a little deflated to find the cabin was abandoned and held nothing useful. But the shelter itself was useful. She tied their horses outside and hastily made their camp. She cooked up the last real portion of the rations into a soup and sat spooning it to Maura. Then she made a nice fire in the hearth and laid Maura in a big pallet in front of it.

* * *

Maura woke shrieking, "JANE?!"

Jane clasped her. "I'm here."

"The children!" Maura gasped. "They're just children!"

Jane hugged her. "Maura, wake up, honey. You're with me. I'm right here. It's okay. Calm down, it's okay."

"No," Maura stammered, "No, no, no. They're so hungry."

Jane pulled back to look at her, "Maura?"

Maura stared blankly at her, eyes filled with pure horror.

"Maura, what's wrong?"

Maura slowly focused on her eyes and finally breathed. "Jane?"

"It's me. You're okay," and Jane hugged her again.

"I had a nightmare," Maura finally whispered to her. "Where are we?"

"We made it to the lake. We're at the top now. I found a cabin. Look? See the hearth?"

Maura looked up uneasily. Her eyes were still clouded with terror. Jane could feel that her skin was prickled with fear.

"Are we alone?"

"Of course," Jane replied, confused.

"I dreamed … there were children here."

Jane was silent. "No, it's just us. You're feverish, Maura. You're just dreaming."

"No, I saw the … the babies crying for … for anything to eat."

Jane gulped uneasily. "There aren't any babies. And I'm going hunting tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll shoot more bighorn. Or a nice buck or some rabbits. And we'll go down the mountain. Just a week more, Maura." She tried to sound cheery, which was absurd.

Maura snuggled close to her. "I don't like it here, Jane."

Jane looked down at her uncomfortably. "I can tell. We'll leave tomorrow, okay?"

"Really?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah, right after I hunt. I'll get up early and hunt, then we'll start down the trail."

Maura looked sharply at the window of the cabin and Jane asked, "What?"

"Nothing," Maura buried her face against Jane's shoulder. "It's nothing."

* * *

When Maura woke Jane was sitting on the hearth with her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Maura asked her.

Jane nodded her head towards the window without raising her face. Maura looked at the window and saw that it was snowing outside.

"Oh no," she said before being wracked by a coughing fit and laying back down on her pillow weakly.

Jane looked at her anxiously. "I went hunting but … the snow …"

Maura looked back empathetically, "It's okay," she tried before she began to cough again.

Jane watched her cough in agony. She went to the window and looked out.

The snow wasn't accumulating fast, but it was accumulating. It wasn't too deep to travel in, but their hope of finding game was eliminated. Jane had scoured the forest for other edible plants and returned with merely a silly fistful of berries. She had been sitting for an hour wondering what she was going to feed Maura that evening, and for the next week, when Maura woke.

Jane had prepared the very last of their food into a weird little meal which she knelt and began to push against Maura's lips.

Maura asked weakly, "Why aren't you eating? When did you eat last?"

Jane ignored her and guided the warm meal past her pale lips.

Soon Jane lay down heavily beside her, too depressed to even undress herself or climb below the blankets.

Suddenly Maura gasped.

"What?" Jane asked as she looked in the corner of the cabin at which Maura stared. There was nothing there. Only a dried little strip of bare leather lay in the empty corner.

"Nothing," Maura said quietly. "Will you hold me?"

Jane pulled Maura's body up against hers and snuggled Maura to her chest.

Finally Jane asked, "Maura?"

And Maura returned "What?" between her gasps for breath.

"What did you see?"

Maura had grown slightly delirious since they came to the cabin. She jumped frequently at an empty corner or the thin air.

"Nothing, Jane," she lied.

"Maura, you keep seeing and hearing something. What is it?"

Maura paused before answering, "It's probably just the wind and the shadows."

"Tell me," Jane commanded.

"I'm just breaking my fever, and I'm seeing things. That's all."

"What did you see?"

Maura was silent. Jane felt her skin grow prickly again. She looked down to see that the hair on Maura's neck and arms had raised. Maura's eyes were fixed on the empty corner.

"… The children," she finally answered.

"… What children?" Jane asked her timidly.

Maura stared blankly at the window. "The Donner children," she admitted finally.

* * *

Jane left Maura sleeping heavily beside the warm hearth in the cabin. She didn't want to leave her alone, but her options were quickly dwindling. It was after noon, and every minute they stayed at the cabin brought them closer to another night there, another night for the snow to accumulate, another night without food, another night away from Fort Sutter and the end of their trip. Jane kissed Maura softly on her forehead before she left.

"Come on, girl," she said quietly to her horse as she took her reins.

She made a small trek away from the cabin to a relative clearing in the dense forest. The snow had accumulated into a few inches on the ground. It was falling heavier and heavier as she pet her horse's neck and scratched her head.

"I'm so sorry," Jane started sadly. She swallowed back her nausea. "I've never made mistakes that led to deaths before. I guess it was inevitable, but I thought I ever would. I thought I would always rescue the princess with ease. But now I have to shoot you because of my mistake. You have to die for her because I was foolish. And I hate myself for it. If I could go in your place, I would, but she can't get down without me. I have to get her off this mountain, girl. Do you understand that? She has to eat for another week. She has to eat something."

A tear rolled down her lovely cheek and the horse brushed against her head comfortingly.

"No, don't forgive me. I don't deserve it."

She laid her head against the horse and wrapped both her arms around its neck.

"I love you. You've been the best horse. I am so sorry. If I could save her any other way, I promise I would," Jane finished solemnly as she raised her revolver to the horse's head.

It seemed to grimace and she sobbed harshly before pulling herself together.

"Ma'am?"

Jane turned to see a beautiful little girl standing in the snow. The sun was shining on her long blonde hair. Jane froze with all consuming terror. She swallowed hard against the realization that she was going insane. She hadn't eaten in days, and the altitude was no doubt making her blood thin. Maybe she was hallucinating, or maybe Maura was right and the deceased Donner children somehow were still inhabiting that place.

Jane turned her face sadly at the child but didn't bother replying to a fantasm.

She raised her gun again.

The child seemed to panic, "What are you doing, ma'am? What are you doing to do to your horse?"

Jane turned sadly back to the apparition. She opened her mouth to respond but, realizing she was attempting to explain herself to a ghost, she ceased. She raised the revolver again resolutely.

"Ma'am, don't!" the child spoke to her in a panic.

Then Jane heard a second voice, the voice of a woman, cut through the cold mountain air.

"Elizabeth?!"

The child turned, "I'm here, Ma! I've found someone!"

Jane froze. She dropped her arm numbly and watched as a man broke through the treeline and lifted the girl into his arms.

"Eliza, why do you terrorize your mother, so? Stop wandering off."

"But Papa, look!" she replied and he looked up slowly at Jane.

Suddenly he snatched the child and clutched her to his breast. He was clearly afraid of Jane. Jane was still in a daze, but she dropped her gun immediately on the ground and put her hands up in a defensive gesture.

* * *

The cabin felt much less creepy with the addition of the small family Jane met on the trail. They welcomed the shelter from the snow, and Jane welcomed the warm dinner they promised to feed Maura. When they had unloaded their wagon and made their camp in the other end of the cabin, the father motioned for Jane to join him by the fire.

"I'm James," he said as he put his large hand out politely to embrace Jane's. Instead of offering her hand to him in the proper way, she clasped his hand like a man. He smirked and allowed the gentleman's handshake.

"Jane Rizzoli. I'm escorting Miss Isles to Mount Shasta. We've had some set-backs in the last few weeks. Honestly, if there's anything I can do to thank you for feeding my friend, please tell me."

James eyed her curiously. He clearly wasn't used to being friendly with unorthodox people, but he sensed Jane's depth and sincerity. He also hadn't failed to notice her many guns.

"Have you run completely out of food?" he asked solemnly.

Jane nodded grimly. "When the snow started, the game just disappeared. There's nothing out there to shoot but my horses. That's … sadly where I was when you came along today."

He nodded knowingly. He had been on the trail himself more than seven months.

"We had some trouble last week, too," he replied.

"What happened?" Jane asked.

"Bandits. They robbed me, took all our money and … all my guns. Everything. I've got an ax, but … if we face anything more dangerous than a tree …" he trailed off as he glanced at his wife who was lovingly breast feeding their infant. The child lay sleepily with her head against the woman's thigh.

"I see," Jane responded.

"What happened to your rations?" He asked her curiously.

Jane looked lovingly at Maura. "We had a store of dry foods which should have lasted, and might have if we hadn't started to rely on it. I should have easily hunted the meat but my arm … I was shot in the Rockies. And I just can't aim like I used to. I finally got my strength back, but she fell in the river last week. And we tried so hard to keep her warm, but she …"

He nodded. He didn't need to hear more, he could see Maura trembling below the many layers Jane had piled on her.

"We've got very little ammunition, but it would be enough if the snow would stop. Then I might find something to hunt. Honestly … I can't believe I'm saying this … but I don't know what to do. Right now," she looked up and into his sincere, understanding eyes, "I would give anything, absolutely anything, to get her to Fort Sutter alive and well. I just want to take her home so she can rest." The pain in Jane's voice caused him to break eye contact and awkwardly look away.

He contemplated her situation for a while and finally said, "Let's get some dinner, and lay down for the night. As long as we're together, you've got food for Maura and I've got protection for my little ones."

His wife smiled at him lovingly. She had laid the children down to sleep.

"Come eat, Miss Rizzoli," she said timidly.

Jane shook her head roughly. "Nome, just as long as Maura is fed. I'm not hungry."

They both eyed her sympathetically and she looked away into the fire.

Finally James spoke to her in a kind tone, "Come on, Jane, eat something. We're not going to take 'no' for an answer."

Jane felt like she was going to cry. She sniffed sharply and turned away.

"Just a little," she conceded.

* * *

Jane woke to Maura petting the side of her face.

Maura smiled at Jane when she opened her eyes. Jane smiled back.

"You're awake?" Jane asked happily.

Maura nodded at her.

"Oh, there's a family," Jane hurried to tell her.

"I see them," Maura told her softly.

Jane looked over her shoulder to see the mother was holding the smiling baby on her hip and stirring a pot with a wonderful smell coming from it.

"They fed us last night," Jane whispered to her. She felt Maura's forehead for a fever and grinned. She gently squeezed Maura's throat and her eyes grew bright. "Your fever broke."

Maura smiled and nodded.

Jane embraced her and hugged her tightly. She kissed her cheeks repeatedly until Maura tried to turn her mouth into the kiss. "The … children" Jane whispered and Maura ceased trying to kiss her. They held hands instead.

The woman came and held two plates out for them. Maura smiled and Jane looked back nervously, "Just one for Maura, Misses, I'm not hungry this morning."

The woman smiled at Maura knowingly. She handed both plates to Maura and returned to her children.

Maura released the extra plate to Jane with a smirk. "I guess she has a husband with a will like yours," she said sweetly.

"I just don't want them to waste it on me. If they're going to share rations, we should pack them so you can eat them this week. We're still in a dangerous situation, Maura."

Maura put her hand on Jane's cheek and stroked her face. She smiled at her serenely.

"We made it this far, Jane. I know we'll figure out what to do. Please just eat with me."

Jane accepted the plate wordlessly and tried to seem less ravenously hungry than she was as she wolfed down her pancakes and biscuits.

* * *

James took Jane outside and they walked away from the cabin to talk.

"Listen," James said to her, "This won't be easy to hear, but you'll understand why I've got to say it. We've got enough food in our wagon to give you as much as you need. My wife was antsy about getting stranded, we brought a lot extra. And I won't insult you by asking you for money although you've clearly got it." He paused to scratch his chin nervously. "What I have to ask you for is your pistol. I know how low you are on ammunition, and I hate to ask for it, but I've got to. If me and my family get stopped again, if a bear or a wolf, if anything threatens us at all, I've got no way to protect them." The weakness his tone conveyed made Jane shift her boots uncomfortably. "I need that pistol, Jane. And I'll trade you all the food you want for it."

Jane nodded slowly. "It's yours."

He was surprised. "I thought you'd want to think about it. That leaves you with …" he tried to count her remaining shots.

"Six bullets," she said quietly. She had been counting down every shot.

He grimaced.

"But the pistol only has ten. So that's fair. We've got about seven days down, it'll take you ten in the wagon. That's a bullet a day. How long have you made it without your weapons?"

"Five days," he replied.

"If you can go five days without shooting, we can both get down on one bullet per day. With food, we don't really need the shots. As long as nothing …" she stopped short of finishing, "that should be fine."

The snow had stopped during the night, but it started again as they talked. They both stared grimly at the falling snow and meditated darkly on their worries.

Finally James said, "Let's get back. We should all head down in the morning."

"I agree," Jane said to him, but she amended quietly, "I've just got to ask Maura, but I'm sure she'll agree."

James lifted his eyebrows into an impreceptible smile.

"We agreed to … to share all the decisions from now on," Jane admitted, thinking at the moment it would make her seem less whimpy. "Just to make her feel included. I make the decisions, really. I'm in charge. She's just … well, we just agreed to talk about things together."

He nodded at her, "I've got a wife, too, Jane. I understand."

"She's not my …" Jane started quietly but stopped when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

Jane had never made a friend before. She smiled awkwardly as they walked back to camp in the falling snow.

* * *

"Are you sure you feel well enough?" Jane asked anxiously.

Maura nodded at her.

"Okay, well, we're not traveling far. We're going down for a couple of hours, then we're making a camp before it gets chilly."

Maura nodded again. Jane was buttoning her large leather jacket over Maura's smaller one.

"If you start to feel bad, or tired, or anything, just tell me. We'll take a break."

Maura nodded again as Jane wrapped an itchy scarf around her neck.

"We've got everything we need to get down, all we need to consider is your health. We've got time and supplies, so don't push yourself too hard, okay?" Jane implored.

Maura nodded again serenely and smiled at her.

"How do you feel?" Jane finally asked after she had wrapped Maura's small hands.

"Like a catapillar," Maura replied sweetly.

Jane laughed. "Not too hot?"

"If I say yes, will you relent?"

"No," Jane replied, "but I'll note it. Maybe when the snow stops we can unwrap you a little."

"I feel like you're trying to mummify me here, Jane," Maura said.

Jane laughed again. "I'm glad your sense of humor is back. I missed you."

Maura had expected her to return the quip, but instead she just squeezed Maura in a hug and rubbed the back of her head lovingly.

"Jane, they're waiting on us," Maura told her sheepishly.

Jane turned to see James and his wife waiting with blushing cheeks.

Jane had already given James her pistol and its remianing ten bullets. His wife had packed an overgenerous cache of groceries for them, including enough salted meat to last almost all week. Jane might need to shoot a rabbit or two, but they would survive on soup either way.

Jane clasped James' hand happily and he felt the wad of bills she had pressed into it.

When he hugged her, he said, "I don't want your money, Jane, I'm just getting my family to the other side."

"I know," Jane told him, "But we've got some to spare, and now you won't have to worry. There's enough cash there to get anything you might need until you're set up. James, thank you so much. And good luck in California."

"God bless you," he told her formally.

Jane smiled and replied in earnest, "May God bless you as well."

Maura smiled at her words but said nothing as she climbed into the saddle. They started down the trail again with full bellies and warm hearts.

* * *

Maura grew in strength and color each day they traveled down. Their meat ran out on the fifth day, but Maura was up walking around camp by then. She was well enough to ride her own horse, but neither she or Jane wanted that.

They made camp peacefully as they had on the beginning of their trip alone. Once again their camp was quietly filled with their growing love for each other.

Jane was wary of letting Maura return to her tasks, but she saw how thoroghly Maura wanted to. She reluctantly allowed Maura to take over their cooking, but she still made Maura sit waiting as she packed and unpacked their camp.

"I'm going to look around for any game while you make dinner," Jane told Maura on the fifth evening after their descent. They only had two days left, maybe less if they hurried.

"Jane, we really don't need it," Maura said.

"I know," Jane replied, "but we made it down with all six shots and we're out of meat. Let me just see if I can quickly find anything."

"I'm not even that hungry," Maura told her.

She really just wanted to spend the time with Jane. Jane was ecstatic to have brought Maura all the way to California safely and she was ready for the trip to be finished, but Maura secretly dreaded each minute that passed. All the time she didn't spend with Jane felt as if it was lost. Maura wanted the last two days to stretch out. She wanted to go back to the beginning and do it all over again.

"I'll be right back," Jane told her.

Jane returned shortly, empty handed. She still had the four shots for her rifle and the two in her revolver. She felt oddly proud of herself for righting their situation although she also felt an oddly religious feeling about the events at lakeside cabin. An angel hadn't materialized to answer to her prayers, but if James and his family had arrived an hour later she would have been eating her horse. Internally she felt incredibly grateful to whatever Source had supplied them with the good fortune to survive.

She stared at Maura openly. Maura blushed but allowed the attention.

"I'm still pretty cold at night, Jane. I would really like it if you could keep me warm tonight." Maura said demurely over their dinner of rice and beans.

Jane smirked. "I don't know, I'm sort of attached to the idea of sleeping out here naked," Jane replied sarcastically.

Maura suppressed a wicked smile. "Well, let's compromise. You can sleep with me, naked."

Jane laughed. "How diplomatic of you."

"I'm self sacrificing that way," she grinned.

* * *

They lay together that night in the same bedroll. It was warm and Maura had stripped to just her sleeping shirt and bloomers. She ran her legs up and down Jane's longer ones. Her hands pet Jane's tight stomach muscles beneath her shirt.

"Is this our last night together?" Maura asked her sadly.

"I think so," Jane said, "It should be. We should arrive tomorrow evening or maybe the early the next morning. It will depend on how much ground we cover tomorrow."

"Oh," Maura replied as she rubbed her cheek against the soft skin of Jane's neck.

"When we get to the Fort, if it's late we'll bed there. If its day the carraige will probably come for us. We should have a day's journey to your home. Then …"

"You leave me?" Maura asked meekly.

"Then you're home. You can sleep in a proper bed, have a proper bath, wear all your beautiful gowns into town and agonize the gentlemen."

Maura silently stroked her stomach.

"And I'll slink back into the gutter I came from."

"I hate it when you talk about yourself that way," Maura lightly scolded her.

"I'm sorry," Jane quietly amended.

"I'm going to miss you," Maura told her. "These last four months have been the best of my life," she said truthfully.

Jane pulled small body closer but didn't reply.

"Did you decide if you're going to stay with me until you find a place?"

"I don't know," Jane said softly after a pause.

"Oh," Maura removed her hand from beneath Jane's shirt. "Well," she leaned up to kiss Jane's cheek, "I've really loved everything about getting to know you, Jane. I'm dreading not having you in my life, actually."

Jane drew a long breath. "I loved … getting to know you, too, Maura. I'm going to miss you a lot."

Maura sniffled at her words. She turned her sleepy face to Jane's shoulder.

"So this isn't our last night together?" Maura asked quietly.

Jane shook her head, "No. I still have a promise to keep to you. And I won't leave you until … until you're ready, okay?"

Maura wanted to look up at her but she was crying. She nodded against Jane's chest.

* * *

The next morning they packed their horses for the last time. Maura was anxious, Jane was excited. Maura doted on Jane and Jane mothered Maura. It started to snow again, but it was no danger to them. They rode along in the scenic beauty all day, and when dusk began to settle Jane said, "Let's stop."

Maura said, "No, let's go another hour. According to our map we're almost there."

They traveled for another forty five minutes before Maura gasped.

"What?" Jane whispered.

"Look," Maura whispered. She had spotted a bighorn sheep. It was alone in a clearing about a hundred feet away from them.

"Wow," Jane said quietly, "Good eye, Maura. I didn't even see him. Hey, do you want to try to get him? We can take him down to the Fort. It'll be the final test of what I've taught you."

Maura's eyes lit up with excitement. It felt like so long since she made Jane very proud of her, and she welcomed the opportunity to impress her one last time.

They slid from their horse silently and strode away carefully. Jane helped Maura aim her revolver, but she allowed her to take the shot alone. Maura hit him directly in his head and he fell silently to the ground.

Jane let out a loud whoop and lifted her into the air excitedly.

"You did it!"

Maura beamed at her happily.

"That was a great shot, Maura!"

Maura reveled in the feeling of Jane embracing her.

"Thanks," she said warmly.

Suddenly Jane stopped. She turned her head slightly to listen.

"What?" Maura asked.

Jane's face contorted with confusion. She seemed to hear another sound, then her eyes stood wide with alarm. Maura hadn't seen such a fierce panic in her eyes. She released Maura suddenly and turned quickly and drew her rifle.

Maura asked, "Jane, what do you hear?" but her sentence wasn't finished before Jane fired into the dim forest. Maura heard the soft thump of something falling to the ground. She had no idea what Jane had shot.

Jane quickly loaded her rifle again and shot into the woods. Again Maura heard the sound of an animal falling.

"Jane, what?"

Jane abruptly loaded the third shot into her rifle.

"Get to your horse, Maura!" she said fiercly.

"No!" Maura said back.

Suddenly Maura heard a terrifying snarl. A grey darkness burst from the treeline and Maura barely had time to identify the snarling teeth and raging eyes as an attacking wolf before it had lept at them and Jane shot it in the head. It fell a mere ten feet from them. She turned and Maura quickly pushed the revolver into her hand. It had only one shot.

"Get to your horse!" Jane shouted at her again.

"I won't leave you!" Maura shouted back.

"NOW!"

Maura slowly backed towards her horse. She wouldn't leave Jane for all the Gold in California, but she accepted her command. If Jane was going to get mauled by a wolf, Maura wanted to perish in her arms.

Another wolf sprang from the treeline and Jane put their last bullet between his eyes.

They were silent for a brief moment.

"Are you at your horse?" Jane asked her very quietly.

"Yes," Maura whispered, "But I'm not leaving you. I would never leave you."

Jane glanced back at her sadly. She looked into Maura's eyes for what felt like the first time. That was Maura, the woman she had fallen in love with. Maura who first detested her on the train platform in Boston. Maura who had been disappointed by her in every way. Maura who she had drug carelessly almost to her doom. Maura who she had refused to open up to, who she had casually strung along because of her own fears and inadequicies. It seemed to occur to Jane at that moment just how much she loved Maura. Just how much she was in love with Maura.

"I won't leave you either," Jane said quietly.

The last wolf darted from the treeline almost silently. Jane saw the terror in Maura's eyes and turned slowly to see him ripping from the trees with his fangs bared at her.

"Jane!" Maura suddenly gasped. The shotgun on her horse. It was loaded.

Jane looked back at her desperately. So she hadn't saved Maura after all. She felt, in that instant she believed to be her last, how incredibly sorry she was that she hadn't told Maura she loved her.

Jane caught the shotgun in her long arms and turned rapidly to fire it. The wolf's enormous chest was merely feet from her face when she fired it. He fell to the ground with a montrous spray of blood.

Jane only gasped for breath. Before she could react, Maura was sitting her down and wiping the blood from her face and neck.

Jane looked up at her numbly.

"Maura?" She asked blankly.

"Jane, I didn't want to tell you, but I saw the smoke from the fort an hour ago. It's right over the hill. We'll be there in twenty minutes. Come on. Get up, and I'll let you have the first bath." She spoke sternly to Jane, fully expecting her to be in shock.

Jane laughed raggedly. She laughed for so long that Maura stopped wiping her face and asked, "Jane? What is it?"

Jane sobered up before saying, "I forgot about the shotgun."

Maura laughed stiffly. "So did I."

They laughed together for another moment. Finally Jane stood and they numbly began to walk down the remainder of the trail. The snow had ceased, the sun was setting, and Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulder lovingly.

"Maura?"

"Mmmm?"

"I love you."

Maura stopped and looked up at Jane's face illuminated in the pink evening sun.

"But we're not finished with the trip yet," Maura reacted sadly. She thought Jane was telling her she loved her because it was the end of their trip. She clutched Jane's vest and finished, "You're coming to Mount Shasta with me, right?"

Jane smiled reassuringly. "Yeah. No. I mean, that's not … that's not what this is about. I'm still going to tell you I love you and kiss you all night when we get there, but … I just want you to know. Right now. Right here."

They stood silouetted in the enormous amber sun as it sank behind the horizon slowly.

Maura smiled up at her. "I love you, too, Jane. I love you so much more than I ever knew I could love someone."

Even in the evening shadows, she could discern Jane's deep blush.

"I never thought I would love someone. I never thought someone worth loving would want me." She paused, "And I still don't. But somehow, despite that, I've somehow come to … to need you. In almost every way. I can mend my own underwear and cook my own dinner, but I can't ever replace the incredible feeling I get when I'm with you."

Maura looked up at her. She felt moved beyond words. A tear slipped down her cheek. She stared into Jane's eyes and finally lifted her mouth to Jane's.

Jane accepted her lips with eager arms around her waist. Maura was pleasantly surprised when Jane parted Maura's lips with her expert tongue. Maura sucked her tongue hungrily into her mouth. They kissed until Jane pulled back from her, gasping, grinning, blushing and murmuring, "I love you" to her repeatedly.

"Come on," Maura said as she pushed back from Jane, "We're so close to sleeping in an actual bed tonight."

Jane smirked at her and they continued to the fort, now visible across the field, clasping hands and smiling deliriously, into the sunset.


	8. Negotiation Tactics

Jane and Maura staggered arm in arm into the lobby at Fort Sutter just after the sun set. As exhausted as they were, they expected a little fanfare but all they were met with was a surly clerk. He watched ragged travelers lucky to be alive stumble from the mountains daily and was nonplussed by their exuberance. He informed them saucily he had no vacant rooms.

Jane looked at him bewildered and Maura tried to intervene.

"Sir, my father has arranged for us to stay the night if our carriage cannot collect us."

"And you're welcome to: Outside. Because as I've told you, we have no vacant rooms."

Jane's eyes opened wide with growing annoyance.

Maura tried again, "Sir, we're very tired. My friend just shot six wolves and she's covered in blood. Don't you at least have somewhere we can bathe?"

He looked at Jane dispassionately. "Absolutely," he dead panned. "Right outside in the creek."

Jane reached for her revolver before remembering it was empty.

Maura caught her hand before it clasped her gun. "All right. We've slept outside all these months, I don't think another night will hurt us. But I want you to know, Sir, that I plan on speaking to your employer about this."

He rolled his eyes, "Enjoy your stay at Fort Sutter," he added sarcastically and Jane leapt towards him. The clerk jumped and squealed. Maura snatched her jacket's collar and held her back.

They were too exhausted to make camp. Jane set up their canvas tent while Maura built a fire and warmed their bedrolls. They ate a quick meal and bundled down to sleep. Maura wanted to wash the blood off Jane's face but she could tell Jane was not in a mood to be fussed over.

Jane noticed Maura glancing at her anxiously as she fell asleep.

"We'll bathe at your house tomorrow night, Maura. It's okay, just get some sleep, darling."

Maura searched in Jane's bedroll until she found Jane's hand. She sighed and squeezed Jane's fingers. "Thank you for bringing me to California, Jane."

"The pleasure was mine, Maura. Goodnight."

"Sleep sweetly, my love."

* * *

The next morning they awoke to find their carriage waiting on them and the surly clerk being reprimanded by his boss.

"Good God, boy, Patrick Isles has more money than the Vatican and here you are making his daughter sleep in the snow? I should fire you this second."

"But sir, how could I have known? She looked like a regular wild woman wearing men's pants and boots. What kind of heiress travels with a burly dyke?"

The gentleman's eyes grew wide with indignation. "Son, I don't care if she sailed here straight from Lesbos, you damn well better treat an heiress like an heiress."

The clerk hung his head in resignation. "Yes, sir."

"And don't act like I haven't seen you eyeing the stable boys, Jackson. You of all people should know how it feels to be an outsider."

Jackson blushed furiously and hung his head.

* * *

When their belongings were packed into the carriage, the driver opened the door for them and when they were seated asked, "Miss Isles?"

Maura was ready to snuggle up beside Jane in comfort and rest her feet.

"Yes? What is your name, Sir?"

The young man cleared his throat. "Uh, my name is Johnny, ma'am."

"Hello, Johnny. Fine to meet you. I am Maura and this is Jane. Are you a servant at my farm?"

He glanced down nervously. "Yes ma'am. And I actually have some letters from your father for you," Maura's eyes lit up excitedly but his tone took on a heavy note as he continued, "and some ... news."

Jane noticed his tone and slipped an arm around Maura's shoulders supportively.

"What has happened, Johnnny? Are my parents well?" Maura asked quietly.

"Everyone is fine, Ma'am. Your parents are quite well and they write often. But last week Patrick sent word for the maid to get the house ready for your arrival. She allowed her older children to assist her and they accidentally lit a clogged fireplace."

Jane and Maura waited frozen.

"And the house burned. Thankfully no one was hurt, but your home will have to be rebuilt. Patrick has already sent preparations but he wanted to let you make the decisions since you're to live there."

"But where will I stay until the house is built?" Maura asked innocently.

He glanced down before answering, "The house maid has a cottage of her own for she and her children. She says she can make her big ones give up their bed to you. I'm afraid that is the best place on the farm for you."

Maura felt Jane's hand tighten around her shoulder.

"It's okay," Jane said to her softly.

"I can't make children give up their bed to me," Maura said sadly.

Jane gazed at her a moment before asking, "Johnny boy, is there a loft in the barn?"

He thought for a moment. "Yes, ma'am ... uh, or Sir ... there's a loft but it's full of hay."

Jane smiled at Maura, "Well, we won't be taking a bath as soon as we hoped, but I think we can turn that hay loft into a nice spot until enough of the house is built to move you in."

"But Jane, that will take months," Maura replied. She was starting to get very anxious about the idea of having to sleep alone in a barn or partially built house after Jane was gone.

"Then we'll have plenty of time to get excited about that bathing tub."

Maura looked into her eyes, "Does that mean ... you'll stay with me until the house is built? That could take years, Jane."

Jane hesitated, "Let's start with the loft for now."

Maura smiled and addressed Johnny, "Alright, Johnny, take us to the farm. We'll be staying in the barn for now."

* * *

"Jane, stop being a baby. Let me help."

"You stop being a ... Pushy Penny."

"I don't think that's a saying, Jane. Now, let me undress you."

"Maura, I undressed myself for twenty years without your help, I think I can manage."

Maura sighed heavily and released her grasp on Jane's leather jacket.

Jane's long fingers moved to the buttons on her shirt.

"Are you going to watch?"

"It kills me that you're suddenly Miss Modesty," Maura rumbled quietly.

Jane turned her back towards Maura to begin peeling off her many layers. It was no easy chore considering that her clothes were nearly plastered to her body. Her fingertips were torn from handling the logs she cut to close in the spacious loft for Maura to use as an apartment until her house was rebuilt. She realized with annoyance that although she had felled nine trees that day, cut, and assembled them into proper walls she could not manage to move the tiny buttons through their respective holes.

"Damn," she cussed to herself.

Maura rolled her eyes comically.

Jane pawed at her jacket helplessly, finally ridding herself of it but realizing with agony that she was wearing two overshirts and an undershirt below. She wondered to herself how she had been getting in and out of her layers of clothing for the last two weeks at the barn. Then she realized Maura had dressed and undressed her each day. She sighed.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Please help me."

Maura bit her smile back. "Gladly."

Maura began to nimbly unfasten the buttons down the front of Jane's two shirts. She stripped them back over Jane's wide shoulders.

"Sit," Maura commanded and Jane lowered her weight against the new wash basin Jane had built.

Maura kneeled and tugged her boots off. Jane obliged the removal of her numerous socks by lifting her feet obediently.

Maura leaned back to kneel on her ankles as she unfastened the buttons of Jane's pants.

"Well, that's all the buttons. I think I can manage from here," Jane said nervously.

Maura looked up at her and easily smiled. She continued to pull at Jane's pants until she had removed them. Jane was wearing only her filthy long underwear.

Jane reached down to stroke Maura's face but retracted her hand when she saw its blackness, many callouses and crags. She touched Maura's hair instead and asked, "Are you sure you don't want to bathe first?"

Maura rose to stand in front of her and started to unbutton the many buttons down Jane's chest. Every button she unleashed exposed the tan expanse of Jane's skin. Maura had forgotten how hungry for the sight she was. She hadn't seen Jane's body for over a month.

"Come on, Maura, I built all this for you. This is a brand new bathing tub from the company store. I can't believe you want an urchin like me sullying it up before you."

Maura's eyes met hers sharply. "I thought we talked about how it makes me feel when you insult yourself."

Jane waited out her scolding with averted eyes.

"Jane, you haven't bathed in over a month. You still have wolf blood caked behind your ears. You've worked for two weeks straight getting the loft ready for us, now please relax and enjoy it with me."

Jane sighed and looked into Maura's eyes. She smiled for her.

"You're right. This is supposed to be our rest night. I just don't know why you don't want to bathe first."

"What makes you think I'm bathing after you?" Maura asked her innocently while pushing her last remaining garment off her shoulders to reveal her naked chest and stomach.

Jane covered her breasts with her arms. "I"m naked and you're not?"

Maura pushed the dirty garment passed Jane's slender hips and let it fall around her feet.

"Get in the bath," Maura instructed her playfully.

Jane was beginning to blush as she stepped into the steaming hot water and relaxed into an awkward seated position.

Maura watched her briefly before beginning to unfasten the neck of her dress.

Jane was using Maura's new soap to wash her hands.

"Ah, that feels amazing. Wow, I didn't even realize how stiff my hands were."

Maura came and sat on the tub's rim with her back to Jane.

Jane looked up with confusion so Maura glanced over her shoulder and asked, "Will you untie my dress and corset?"

Jane stammered, "Uh, I ... uh ... I thought ... I ..."

Maura laughed lightly. "Come on, I don't want to wait for you to soak all night. There's plenty of room for us both in there."

"In here?" Jane asked nervously, "Let me just wash up quickly and you can have it to yourself."

Maura cleared her throat with annoyance.

Jane sighed and began to untie Maura's laces.

Maura stood and shimmied from her dress and slip. She had already discarded her boots and pants. She stood facing Jane when she pushed her bloomers down with a smile.

Jane coughed awkwardly. "Maura, I'm not sure ..."

"You never are," Maura murmured to her sweetly as she stepped into the hot water and lowered herself into Jane's lap.

The contact of Maura's body added to the extreme pleasure of the hot bath was almost too much ecstasy for Jane's brain to process. She barely suppressed her moan when she heard Maura sigh happily as she laid her head back on Jane's shoulder. She snuggled her bottom against Jane's thighs until they parted and Jane's long legs encircled her. She reached out to take Jane's hands and guide Jane's arms around her shoulders. Jane's rigidity slowly dissolved into the feeling of Maura resting her body peacefully against Jane's.

"Thank you for all the hard work you've done since we came here, Jane."

Jane wanted to kiss Maura's face, but she held back. They hadn't kissed since they came to Maura's farm. Jane had anxiously avoided all Romantic gestures and thrown herself into the task of remodeling the upstairs hayloft of Maura's barn. She didn't really know if she was building the apartment for Maura or herself. She knew that leaving Maura without a proper home meant leaving her in danger, and that thought was unbearable to Jane.

Maura turned her head and pressed her lips to Jane's neck. "Hey?" she asked.

"Mmm?" Jane responded.

Maura ran her fingertips up and down Jane's long thighs on either side of her body. "Let me get you cleaned up, okay?"

Jane wanted to respond in the negative but she had hardly formulated a negative syllable when Maura reached for the soap and sponge they had brought home from town earlier in the week.

"Can I make my own soap here on the farm?" She asked Jane mindlessly as she lathered the sponge in her delicate hands.

Jane's eyes lingered on Maura's adept fingers as she replied, "If you slaughter meat to eat you can. It's made from animal fat."

Her nose scrunched a bit. "Buying it from town will suffice."

Maura reversed her position to face Jane, kneeling primly between Jane's parted thighs. She began to rub the sponge in soft circles around Jane's collar bone. Jane closed her eyes and relaxed into the sensation.

Maura used the opportunity to inspect Jane's incredible body with her eyes.

Jane turned her neck to the side and involuntarily moaned when Maura washed her long throat.

Maura leaned up on her knees to reach around Jane's shoulders and gently scrub the back of her neck. Her breasts lightly brushed against Jane's chest and they both gasped quietly then smiled in unison.

Maura returned to her ankles and washed Jane's long arms slowly, taking care to remove all of the dirt from Jane's tan skin. She pulled Jane's hands into her own and began to carefully wash her fingers and clean around her fingernails.

"I'm going to put some lotion on your hands to help your skin heal. Can I make lotion here on the farm?"

Jane found it hard to open her eyes to look at Maura or even speak so she nodded her head in the affirmative.

Maura brought Jane's hands to her mouth and kissed them.

Jane finally opened her eyes but found it difficult not to become hypnotized by Maura's perfect breasts rising above the water with suds forming at her lovely nipples.

Dimly she realized Maura was waiting for a reply and she asked, "Um, what?"

Maura giggled and her breasts heaved. The motion seemed to snap Jane from her meditation.

"Let's switch so I can wash your back," she finally understood Maura to be saying.

Their wet bodies rubbed against each other as they passed in the large tub and traded places.

Jane tried to lean up and rest against her knees but Maura tugged her shoulders back until she was reclining against Maura's chest.

"I thought you were going to wash my back," Jane teased lightly.

Maura kissed the side of her face and teased. "I didn't tell you how to build this room, so don't tell me how to scrub my lady friend, all right?"

Jane laughed and shook her head, "Point taken."

Maura began to wash every inch of Jane's body she could access from their position. Jane obliged her willingly with occasional moans of approval.

Soon Maura dropped the sponge outside of the tub and wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders. She gave Jane a lingering kiss on the cheek and hugged Jane's body against her own.

Jane absently began to stroke the little thighs wrapped around her waist. Maura encouraged her with a gentle thrust of her hip against Jane's back.

Maura's small hands began to rub Jane's bare skin in large circles, sinking lower and lower until they covered Jane's firm breasts. Jane's fingernails scraped along the skin of her calves and her chest began to slowly heave.

Jane turned her face into the kiss she knew was waiting for her. Maura's mouth opened for her and her teeth immediately kneaded Jane's bottom lip. Jane pressed her face against Maura's, deepening the kiss and probing Maura's delicious mouth with her tongue.

Maura's hands grasped Jane's shoulders and her thighs squeezed Jane's hips between them.

Jane broke the kiss and twisted her hips to loosen Maura's thighs. Maura pouted sadly, thinking Jane was pulling away from her.

But Jane simply rolled to face her and lay between her legs with their stomachs pressed together. She rose above Maura on her arms and smiled down at her.

Maura beamed up at her happily. "You are so beautiful," she murmured to Jane.

Jane responded with another deep kiss. Maura once again wrapped her legs around Jane's waist and her arms around Jane's shoulders. She felt as if she was dangling from Jane's longer body as a monkey dangles from a tree.

When the kiss was finished Jane relaxed on top of Maura's slight frame and Maura stroked and rubbed her neck and back dreamily.

"Jane?" Maura asked.

"Mmmm?" Jane asked without lifting her head from Maura's shoulder.

"I slept with another woman in Paris."

Jane turned her head subconsciously, as if her ears had deceived her. "What?"

"It wasn't really a huge deal there. At an all girls school in Europe, it's sort of expected."

"So you ... you kissed another girl?" Jane didn't raise her face to look at Maura, she felt oddly raw towards what Maura was telling her.

"Um," Maura began guiltily. "Yes, and we also slept together."

"What?" Jane stammered, "What do you mean?"

"I..." Maura hesitated, "I mean we pleasured one another's bodies."

Jane finally raised herself on her elbows to peer at Maura curiously. "Did she ... penetrate you?"

Maura felt her cheeks flush. Maura had never been ashamed of her sexual desires or of her experiences. There had never been a person before Jane whose opinion she so prized that she worried her past decisions could shame her.

Maura nodded at Jane's question with her eyes averted.

Jane couldn't begin to understand her own feelings. Should she be happy or sad? Should she be relieved or disappointed? Should she be surprised or was this always right in front of her face? She looked into Maura's eyes with complete confusion as if Maura was suddenly a stranger to her.

Maura's thighs tightened around Jane's waist. "Jane, I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't worry. About the virginity thing. I've never had sex with a man, but I can't say that I've ever wanted to. I had a girlfriend in Paris, we decided to get physical. It was all consensual and mature. I didn't tell you before because ... well, when is that kind of story appropriate?"

"I ..." Jane started to argue but she knew Maura was right. She hadn't made it easy for Maura to talk to her. Maura hadn't told her she was straight or that she was a virgin, she assumed those things. Maura had been open and honest with her the entire time, it was Jane who refused to see what was in front of her. "I guess you're right."

"Jane, do you ... do you feel differently about me?"

Jane collected herself carefully before looking into Maura's eyes, "Of course not."

Maura felt tears line her eyes. "I told you because I thought you would be happy."

Jane sighed. "Why?"

Maura leaned to press a kiss against her face. "Because you really don't have to worry about ruining me or seducing me or taking advantage of me. I'm an adult woman, Jane. I'm fully in charge of the decisions I'm making. I have my eyes wide open and I know exactly what I want."

Jane couldn't stop the fierce blush that crawled up her neck. She swallowed hard enough for Maura to hear. She felt incredibly attracted to this new layer of Maura she had discovered.

"And what do you want?"

Maura responded to her question with an insistent squeeze of her thighs and a kiss on Jane's shoulder. "I want you to make love to me. But don't treat me like a porcelain doll, Jane. Treat me like," she pressed a kiss to Jane's jaw seductively, "your woman."

Jane caught her breath before raising up her arms above Maura. She looked down at Maura in the warm bath and for the first time saw an incredibly sexy woman where she had once seen a timid girl.

She pressed her hips against Maura's and watched Maura's pupils begin to dilate.

"Okay," Jane finally agreed. "I did make you a promise."

"That's right," Maura smiled up at her, "You said you were going to kiss me all night."

"And I always keep my promises," Jane rumbled into her ear before sucking the tender lobe into her mouth.

* * *

"Baby, where is my damn hammer?"

"Language."

"Sorry. I've lost my hammer again."

"It's down in the stables, you were shoeing horses this morning."

"Oh!" Jane replied excitedly, "Right. Thanks, Maura."

"Hey, Jane?" Maura looked up from her letters. She was sitting at the desk Jane had built for her, finishing her paperwork for the office.

"Yeah?" Jane asked from the door of their little apartment in the hay loft.

"I need to talk to you."

"Well, actually, I'm in the middle of something. Can it wait until tonight?"

Maura nodded her head.

Jane grinned at her. "Great. I'll be back in about an hour."

* * *

When Jane came back that evening Maura was waiting with her hands clasped together.

"Jane, you're ... you're late," she said sadly.

"I know," Jane replied excitedly. "But come here, I want to show you something."

Jane walked over to Maura and led her by the hand from their loft. At the door of the barn she asked Maura to close her eyes as she led her around the corner.

"Okay, you can open them," Jane announced ceremoniously.

Maura opened her eyes to see that the frame of her new house now contained three large closed rooms. She gasped. "How did you...?"

"Skills," Jane abbreviated as she pulled Maura towards the structure.

Jane showed Maura that inside her new house was a bedroom, a kitchen and a washroom.

"This room will belong to your servants once the house is built. The Master bedrooms will be much grander. But for now, while the rest of the structure is being filled in, you will be safe in here."

"I love it, Jane." Maura said as she wrapped Jane in a hug and leaned up to kiss her fully.

Jane beamed back at her proudly. "At this pace the house will be finished in about a year, maybe less. Depends on if you buy things like trim and shutters or if you have them made here in town." Maura looked up at her uneasily. "I wouldn't begin to know how to order shutters or have them commissioned, Jane."

"I know," Jane replied quickly. "But the farm's manager can assist you."

"Do you mean the mean drunk who attacks my poor cattle with a whip? He's barely qualified to fill his boots, Jane."

Jane nodded sadly. "Yeah, he's not ... the most efficient farm manager. But you're a savvy business lady, you can hire anyone you want."

"I'll ... deal with that later. Jane?"

Jane was still lovingly scrutinizing the details of her own work around the house. "Yeah love?"

"... I need to talk to you, remember?"

"Ah! Of course, I'm sorry." She went over to the new bed but thought better of sitting down when she realized how dirty she was. Instead she sat in the chair she made for Maura's new roll top desk. Maura came to stand in front of her, but decided to sit down in her lap instead. She seated herself on one of Jane's parted thighs and looped her arm around Jane's neck.

"Thank you so much for staying with me these last two months, Jane. I have no idea what I would have done if you had left me. I can think quickly on my feet, but I have no knowledge of how to build or even order an entire household."

Jane looked into her eyes happily. "It has been fun, actually."

A cloud of sadness moved over Maura's expression.

"What is it?" Jane asked when she saw it.

Maura glanced away and began to wring her hands. "You have a letter from my father."

"Oh," Jane said. She wasn't aware of any reason to fear Patrick but she understood from Maura's tone the matter was grave. "What does it say?"

"I ... don't know, actually. Well, I know but I don't know." She cleared her throat and tried to continue, "Jane, do you remember in Salt Lake City I mailed some letters to my parents?"

Jane thought for a moment. "Uh ... yeah, I do. You went to the Pony Express by yourself to mail some letters."

"And do you remember when Johnny picked us up at Fort Sutter he had letters for me?"

Jane nodded and waited for her to continue.

"Well, I ... I had written my father to tell him I was falling in love with you and to ask him for permission to start a life with you."

Jane's eyes grew wide with surprise. "And he has already replied?"

Maura nodded but her expression didn't give away Patrick's answer.

Jane looked at the new hardwood floors and tried to think. So Patrick was aware she had slept with his daughter. Would he kill her? Would he allow her to continue sleeping with his only beloved daughter? Would he tell her he was disappointed or would he welcome her to their family? Would she be allowed to start a life with Maura? Is that what she even wanted? Was she happy or sad at the idea of leaving Maura? Was she happy or sad at he idea of starting a life with Maura?

"I don't know what to say, Maura."

"I know. That's why I've waited. But now I feel horrible for keeping this from you. My father sent three letters. One was for me, congratulating me on finding love and giving me his blessing. The other two are for you, one if I decide to try to build a life with you, and the other if I have changed my mind and want you to leave."

"Oh," the weight of Maura's words seem to physically crush Jane. Now everything was different. Only seconds previous she hadn't known if she wanted to stay with Maura, now she felt sick at the idea Maura didn't want to stay with her. Now she didn't know if she wanted to stay or go, or if she wanted Maura to want her to stay or go.

"So whenever you are ready, I have both letters for you."

"I thought ... he wanted you to decide which to give me?"

Maura looked into Jane's eyes sincerely, "It's your decision, Jane."

"It's also yours," Jane replied.

Maura hugged Jane against her. "I decided long ago, Jane. I thought you knew that."

Jane pet Maura's back lovingly. "Really?"

Maura smiled at her. "Of course. Jane you've kept me safe and taken care of me and helped and supported me in every way. You are everything I could ever hope for ... no, you're more. You're more than I would have ever dared to want from life." She kissed Jane. "But I can't ask you to stay with me."

Jane looked back at her with worry. "Why?" she asked meekly.

"Because you're a bird and this farm is a cage. I hope you know by now that I will never lock or even close the door to your cage, but Jane, I ... I really don't know if I can stand the heartache of you coming and going. You can stay here and manage the farm, or you can take the money father has sent for you and start any life you choose. I will never ask you to stay. It's something you must decide for yourself. My decision, to love you and to offer you this life, has been made."

Jane pulled her close and hugged her. "I love you, Maura."

"I love you, too, Jane." Maura replied into Jane's beautiful dark hair.

"Would you be hurt if I asked for some time? Just some time to think until I'm totally sure of my decision?"

"That seems perfectly fair, considering I kept this from you for two months. How much time would you like?"

"Well," Jane started as she looped her fingers through Maura's own. "You don't know how to order the shutters, so I should probably stick around for ... at least another year. I can probably have my decision made by then."

Maura wasn't sure at first how serious she was being until Jane continued, "Actually, you should really start some crops and that takes years."

Maura smiled, "I'll need someone who knows how to do all that."

"Well, a good farm manager is hard to come by but ... I could help you out. I could stay long enough to see it finished."

"I have a few other things that need tending to around the house, if you're able."

"Like what, Miss Isles?" Jane asked her with a smirk.

"Well, my dresses are very difficult to unlace myself. I can't reach my back to wash it. I'm utterly unable to kiss myself and I'm afraid I get quite lonely in bed."

"Oh no," Jane said, shaking her head, "Well, I can help with some of those things ... but there will be a fee."

Maura laughed, "Of course. Name your price, Rizzoli."

Jane kissed her lips. "I don't think you can afford it."

"Oh really? I'm sitting on a gold mine, Jane. A literal gold mine."

Jane laughed. "Well, I actually don't accept gold in payment. I only accept kisses and back rubs." Maura feigned annoyance, "You've got to play Hard Ball, huh?"

"It will cost you at least ten billion kisses, Isles. And don't get me started on the shutters. Your little hands will be so calloused from rubbing my back you'll probably beg for death."

"Well, I don't have that many kisses in liquid equity at the moment. I'd have to generate them and that could take time."

"I see," Jane countered, "And how long are we talking here?"

"Years," Maura replied with a kiss, "Decades. Millenia."

Jane sighed. "You drive a hard bargain, Heiress, but like I said ... I'm not ready to commit at the moment. Perhaps when you've delivered the first million kisses we can renegotiate your contract."

Maura ran her hands through Jane's hair. "I love you," she said honestly.

"I love you, too, Maura," Jane replied immediately, "So much."

"Did I see a new bathing tub in that wash room over there?"

Jane smirked. "You did."

"Well, let's dirty it up then."

Jane chuckled and lifted Maura easily into her arms.

"I was hoping you would say that, Miss Isles. I actually already filled it with hot water."

Maura beamed at her. "You're ... so perfect."

"Shhh!" Jane reprimanded her with a kiss, "Don't ruin my reputation.

Outside a light rain began to fall on their little house, washing away the soot from the fire into the garden where it fertilized the rich soil for the coming Spring and the planting of their many crops.

THE RENEGOTIATABLE END


End file.
